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peopleofthedas2011-07-18 09:39 pm
ouyangdan) wrote in peopleofthedas2011-07-18 09:39 pm
OYD's Very Special CrackFic After School Special
Ever feel like a trip to the Deep Roads is like going on a school Field Trip? Our Dear Wardens do!
Rating: M Wardens use naughty words and there's killin' and stuff.
Word Count: 4,418 (This arch got a little wordy)
Characters: Kahrin Cousland, Carver Hawke, Anders, Nathaniel, Velanna, Oghren, and some of those rotten darkspawn.
Summary: Darkspawn to be killed and Spider!Elf antics ensue. Also, Carver has an aneurism. Bein' in charge sucks, bud. Buck up, Camper!
Previous chapters here.
Some things below the cut don't belong to me. Likemiri1984's Carver representation. Also, some cracktasticness that is slowly eating my whole brainmeats.
Thanks everyone who helped me run the RP for this plot. You are the most wonderful kittens in the basket. Also: sorry, 'Lanna, you're just not as BAMF as Faolan.
Rating: M Wardens use naughty words and there's killin' and stuff.
Word Count: 4,418 (This arch got a little wordy)
Characters: Kahrin Cousland, Carver Hawke, Anders, Nathaniel, Velanna, Oghren, and some of those rotten darkspawn.
Summary: Darkspawn to be killed and Spider!Elf antics ensue. Also, Carver has an aneurism. Bein' in charge sucks, bud. Buck up, Camper!
Previous chapters here.
Some things below the cut don't belong to me. Like
miri1984's Carver representation. Also, some cracktasticness that is slowly eating my whole brainmeats.Thanks everyone who helped me run the RP for this plot. You are the most wonderful kittens in the basket. Also: sorry, 'Lanna, you're just not as BAMF as Faolan.
It had taken a long time for Kahrin to fall asleep, and she'd slept lightly when she finally did. Every time Carver stirred she'd started awake to make sure he was all right. She would run light fingers along the site where the arrow wounds had been, and even though she knew Anders had healed it, and that his Warden healing would make quick work of anything else, she couldn't help but worry.
Perhaps some space between them would be a good thing. She had been so focused on Carver that she could think of little else. Attachments were a bad idea for a Warden. It clouded your objectivity.
Still, she held him, and still, she smoothed his hair, and still, she fretted.
She'd been surprised to be awakened in whatever passed for morning in the Deep Roads. She was used to being the first one awake, and no one had come to collect her for a watch. But when she opened her eyes it was Carver nudging her gently, and she smiled with a tinge of relief.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” he whispered softly into her ear.
She groaned and swatted at him. “Maker's Taint, I don't feel like I've slept at all.” She stirred. “And that is not how you wake me up.” She narrowed her eyes, but ended up grinning.
“We need to go see how the night went,” he groaned slightly as he sat up and looked for the plates to his armour.
Kahrin fussed at his wound site again, lifting up his tunic and gambeson to look at it. “Are you feeling better?”
Carver swatted her hands away. “It's fine, it's fine!” He gave her a look between annoyance and amusement. “We need to get out and get everyone packed up.”
She slapped his hand and kept checking it anyhow. “Andraste's Flaming Sword, Carver, I've barely slept I was so worried.” Satisfied it was indeed healed clean, she tightened her own buckles and began packing up. She gave him a serious look. “Be more careful.” With a quick kiss she was out of the tent.
Her voice rose to the stern tone of a Commander and she stood up looking around at their assembled party. “Coffee, now,” she bellowed.
With a smug look, Velanna pressed a mug into her hand. “Your Lieutenant is going to want to see you.” A look crossed her face that could have been mistaken for a grin.
Kahrin didn't need to look around long to find out what she was talking about. There was Nathaniel, clad in only his breeches, hanging upside down from a wall of the tunnel by spider silk. She gave the elf a stern look.
“What? I woke up and he was in my tent.” She didn't even look remotely apologetic. Kahrin knew he'd sat up over her part of the night to keep an eye on her as she healed from – her exertions in battle the day before.
Kahrin rolled her eyes grumpily and moved to cut him down before Carver saw this mess and had an apoplexy. “Void take you all, this is why I don't want children.”
It was too late though, as he was already clambering out of the tent. He looked around and took in the scene, and Kahrin saw his neck muscles tighten noticeably. “OK. That's it. Velanna, Nathaniel, Anders, I need to speak with you now.”
After being cut down from the wall Nathaniel pointedly ignored him and began searching for his shirt.
“Nathaniel, that was not a request. Get your arse over here.”
Nathaniel raised one eyebrow, obviously trying to keep his breathing even. “You certainly make it difficult to find you remotely tolerable.”
“It's a good thing I don't right care if you sodding like me.”
Anders wandered over with a curious look, rubbing his face. “This should be good.”
“Look,” Carver began, “I don't know what happened, but I wake up to find our archer stuck to a wall with no defenses in the middle of the Deep Roads. Nate, you stay out of Velanna's tent. The Deep Roads is not an appropriate place to fuck.”
Kahrin winced. “Carver, I …” She stopped herself, folding her hands behind her back. It wouldn't be right to undermine him in front of everyone just now.
He rounded on Anders next. “And you, you were on watch last night. I thought you had more brains than that.”
“They woke me up,” he said simply, shrugging.
Nathaniel stalked forward and jabbed a finger into Carver's chest. “You are the last person to be telling anyone what can and can not be done in their own tent. Keep your mind on the mission and stay out of my way.”
Carver grabbed his jabbing finger and glared down at the rogue. “It stopped being your business when it put us all at risk. Whether I like it or not, we need you on this mission.”
“Yet I can see it didn't disturb your rest at all. If someone has a problem with me they may address me directly. If you have a personal problem, whelp, I'd suggest you wait until a more appropriate time. Learning the difference is part of leading. One with which you are not yet accustomed.”
Velanna chose that moment to chime in, naturally. “Now, wait just a moment. I can obviously take care of myself, but should I want him in my tent I will make that decision. Unless you plan to stop sharing a tent with the Commander.” She arched one perfect blonde eyebrow at him.
Kahrin thought a little intervention was in order. “Carver, may I speak with you?”
He turned his face to her. “Yes?”
“C'mere,” she began, leading him away, a soft hand on his elbow. “The rest of you, pack up and be ready to move out.”
He palmed his face. “Maker, I …”
Kahrin crossed her arms over her chest. “I hate to break up this fantastic swaggering party …” She paused and took a breath. “You can't piss off every mage we have. You need them, and I won't have you die down here.” She shoved her hands into her hair and began tying it up into a haste knot at the nape of her neck. “I thought I was the one with the death wish. And what did you mean ‘not a place to fuck’?” She said the last bit a little pointedly. Apparently they had done something sodding wrong the last time they were here together, then. Fabulous.
She knew she was being needlessly cranky.
Carver waved his hand. “Anders is fine. He knows that was stupid. But Velanna? Sure, she was amazing yesterday, but what she did last night, that was a farce.” He crossed his own arms. “As to the last matter, you have to admit it would be stupid. If we were caught without our armour we could die.” He had the decency to look sheepish, she noted.
She blinked at him a few times. “Fine. As you wish, Warden.” She nodded once and turned to the group. “All right, let's haul out. We're clearly done here.”
She strode off.
Carver watched her walk off without saying anything, and then busied himself packing up.
Velanna and Oghren were packed and ready to leave before everyone else. “Let's go find something to kill so the little blighters will stop whinging. Death'll shut 'em up, yeah?”
“You're right, Oghren, let's move it out.” Carver gave the order and they began their march.
Kahrin gave a curt nod to indicate her ascension before striding away. “You want front, or shall I?” She raised her eyebrow at Carver.
He tried for a grin. “If you take front, I get to watch.”
She put her Look firmly in place. “Fine. Bring up the rear and keep your senses honed. Don't want to be caught by surprise.” She knew she was being an utter ass. She just couldn't stop herself.
They hadn't gone far when the thrumming began. They had drawn the horde, and Kahrin put a hand up to halt everyone. “We have company, and not the shiny, happy, kind.”
“Elgarnan!” Velanna yelled. “More darkspawn. Why are we down here?” She palmed her staff and was ready to charge off.
Nathaniel already had his bow out and an arrow nocked and was right behind her as they sought out a place with vantage.
Oghren began laughing. “They'll all be red mist soon enough.”
Anders caste haste on the party and they were upon the horde immediately, and Kahrin felt the itch of magic pulling at her. There were emissaries afoot.
Carver ran up beside Kahrin. “Smite or pommel, love?” he asked as they charged ahead.
“You pommel, I'll smite.” She didn't spare him another glance as she pulled ahead of him.
Carver pushed to keep up with her, bellowing a war cry as Kahrin pulled her will to smite the first emissary that was close to them. The monster reeled back into the wall with a satisfying crack of its head to the earthen tunnel.
“He's going to get back up, be ready,” she yelled. “I'm tired today, so we need to work together.”
They were swarmed almost immediately. Anders let loose a tempest that took out the first wave. Nathaniel's arrows started popping up from the heads of the spawn, and Velanna was throwing roots out to grab everything she could reach.
Gaining the emissary, Kahrin cleansed him as he was getting up and struck him with a riposte that stunned him. Carver leapt and delivered a deathblow to the thing.
He looked about for more of them as he scythed four hurlocks in half.
“Carver, look out!” Kahrin elbowed a hurlock and made a messy kill before lashing out in a dual weapon sweep and beheading several of the stupid genlocks.
They stood back to back and felled as many as they could, Carver scything them down three and four at at time, and Kahrin cutting anything that got too close. There were shrieking cries as darkspawn were cut down or torn apart by Velanna's roots.
Anders began to glow blue again and his eyes changed. He threw charged lightning at any spawn that moved.
Kahrin followed Carver's path while he skewered several hurlocks.
The cavern filled with the sounds of shrieking darkspawn as Velanna tore them limb from blood-soaked limb with vines. Nathaniel slung his bow and pulled his daggers, and summoned his bear to follow him to where she was almost single-handedly attempting to take on half of the horde.
She screamed in a rage, “You should fear the Dalish! Na halam sahlin!”* Her wicked laughter was drown out by the sounds of the horde advancing.
Three emissaries emerged dispersed through the horde, and one burst into a swarm of stinging wasps almost immediately. Seeing this, Velanna wasted no time blasting them with a cone of fire, catching them aflame. She realized only too late that this left her surrounded by darkspawn and a flying inferno of burning insects. Nathaniel slashed his way forward to assist, his bear tearing out the throats of anything in their way.
Kahrin could feel the pull of magic from the emissaries as she and Carver shoved their way through the horde. She could feel each of them niggling at her senses. She slashed across several genlocks and turned to Carver.
“Do you have any lyrium?” She ran a blade through the chest of a hurlock, feeling the blade strike the spine, and spun around to kick a swordsman in the gut.
Carver scythed his blade through another mass of spawn, and gave her a questioning look. “What? Why?”
Kahrin jerked her head at the two not-on-fire emissaries. “There are two more of them. With a little boost I think I can take them both, quickly.”
They kept fighting as she edged in the direction of the pull of magic. Carver gave her a doubtful look. “I don't think …”
“I'm not asking, Warden. Do you have it or not?” Her tone was sharp and all business. She knew he had it. She required everyone to carry small pouches with a small supply of lyrium and elfroot potions.
He pulled a vial from the pouch on his belt and thrust it in her hand. He watched, horrified as she quaffed the glowing potion.
It tasted like hot iron burning down, with a sickly aftertaste of candy that made her want to retch. She clutched her forehead as the liquid shot through her, and she recoiled. The sensation passed almost as quickly as it hit her, and she dashed off towards the emissaries without another word.
Carver could do nothing but fight in the same direction, after her.
Anders saw Velanna set the stinging swarm on fire. The deep and booming voice of Justice filled the cavern, his eyes glowing as if lightning struck behind them, “That was an unwise move, mage.” He began tearing darkspawn apart as he moved through them, making his way towards her.
“I've got this!” she shouted back at him, raising thornblades from the ground, which pierced every spawn in a ring around her and began sucking their lifeforce to replenish her own. She shoved out with a bursting ring of power that sent bodies flying away from where she and Nathaniel stood fighting.
One of the remaining two emissaries caught Carver up in a crushing prison of power, and he hollered out as it started pulling in on him. His ribs popped loudly giving way and there was a sick crunch of grinding bone.
Kahrin heard his cries and staggered a step, looking back. Fuck, that will crush ever bone in his body! The other emissary pulled at her, and yet she hesitated, wanting to run back after him. Her head was spinning with a foggy rush, and she shook it to clear her mind.
As if knowing her conflicted mind, Anders tossed a couple of hasty glyphs near Velanna and Nate and charged back towards Carver. “Do not fear, Commander,” Justice's voice thundered, “I will tend to him.”
Trusting his word, she raced on.
Anders dispelled the grasp that held Carver and he slumped to the ground as Anders used a mind blast to give them space, shoving several creatures away from them with a flash. Anders quickly healed him and filled him with a rejuvenation, then helped him to his feet.
Carver got up and hefted his sword, giving Anders a grateful nod. “You'll be paying for that one, 'spawn.”
Anders sent a blast of colourful lights in the direction of the emissary, which clashed violently and flung the monster into the cavern wall, where it slumped and didn't move again.
“Anders, get back to Velanna and Nate.” Carver tore off after Kahrin, seeing the creature fling magic at her. “Watch out!”
Kahrin felt amazing. She was completely oblivious to Carver yelling to her. She singled the emissary out, and as the creature hit her with a death siphon she only slowed a moment, and gathered her will easily, surprised with how casually she was able to cleanse the spell away.
The emissary righted itself and began drawing power again. Carver attempted to hit it with a smite of his own, but it barely seemed to effect it. Kahrin grinned and smote it easily.
Maker, this is incredible.
She felt her energy draining as she flagged from the repeated use of her templar abilities in addition to the fighting. She felt the smite that Carver had cast out. She called to him over her shoulder. “Get back, you just had most of your bones crushed.”
Carver ignored her, and called to Oghren. “To us!” and waved a hand over his head.
“Get back!” she yelled, determined to keep between him and the horde. Her blood itched. She could … taste something. It was thick like oil on her tongue and sparked at her sense. Magic. The emissary's magic. “I'm all itchy.” She shook her head to clear it.
Carver and Oghren reached her and they chopped down what was left of the horde around her as she faced the emissary again.
“Carver, give me another potion!” She took out the emissary in front of her, but what if there were more?
He blinked at her as he swung an arch with his sword, picking off a few genocks. “One's enough, Kahr, truly. No.”
“If there are more, we have to be prepared! Give me the damned potion and stay out of my way.”
The ground trembled violently. Fantastic. Another ogre. Kahrin could sense each and every body in the cavern with astounding clarity.
Carver clenched his jaw, but produced the potion from his pouch. “I sure hope you know what you're doing.” He thrust the potion into her hand. “Take care of them then, I'm going to deal with our big friend.”
“No worries!” Anders yelled, and he hit the ogre with a dark streak of power, then backed away from it quickly.
Kahrin downed the second potion quickly, and almost threw it back up immediately. She swallowed down the amount that had tried to find its way into her mouth and smacked her tongue against the the wretchedly sweet metallic taste.
Carver tried to smite the last emissary, but missed. “Bloody flames, I'm not good enough at that yet.”
Kahrin hit it easily. She was thrilled with how much easier she could single out the magic and silence it. “It comes with time, love.” Her field of vision flashed momentarily, but she shook it off. “I'll be fine. I've been doing this for years. Go!” She shoved his arm away from her and in the direction of the ogre. “Fuck,” she cried as she doubled over and almost vomited on the floor.
Carver shuddered, but turned and did as he was told without any more hesitation.
Anders had frozen the ogre in an ice spell, from which it was just now freeing itself. Carver ran up and slid underneath it, and hamstrung it from behind.
He looked at Anders. “We need to get back to Kahrin. I thinks she might be--”
“Carver, get away from the ogre before it dies!” Justice's voice boomed from Anders' mouth.
Carver leapt for the creature's head, and slammed his sword hilt-deep into it, and rode the thing to the ground. Understanding crossed his face at Anders' words almost too late, and he dove from the ogre just as it exploded from the walking bomb that had been planted in it. The blast tossed him forward considerably.
The explosion killed many of the surrounding remaining darkspawn.
Carver spit dirt and filth from his mouth as he got up, nodding in satisfaction that the ogre was dead.
Velanna began to flag and fell over slightly as Nathaniel reached her. “You need to slow down before you kill yourself,” he hissed at her. Why he suddenly cared what happened to her, he didn't know.
She jerked her arm away from him. “Paws off of me, shem.” She looked at him confusion, on her face. “But, thank you.” They dashed off together towards the rest of the group.
Carver pointed at Kahrin and frowned to Anders. “She's high. I … we need to get back there.”
Kahrin didn't notice anything except the emissary that had swept into the room from around a corner, screaming as it burst into a swarm and began circling around her.
She laughed loudly. “Hold still, you blighter.” She shook her head and cleansed the swarm out of the air. The emissary fell to ground in its normal form.
Carver reached her first and hit the beast with a successful smite. Kahrin plunged her swords into it, and burst into a fit of gigles. “That, love, is how it's done.” She kept laughing.
Anders caught up with them. “I'm getting too old for this,” he grumbled, then paused. “I smell broodmother.”
Kahrin was still laughing. “I think I do too!” she yelled. “Let's go get it!” She turned to go and Carver caught her by the shoulders.
Nate, Velanna and Oghren reached them. Nate looked at Kahrin and frowned deeply. “Who in the sodding Void let her have lyrium? She smells like that bugger Rylock.”
Velanna muttered under her breath, asking when all the shems went crazy.
Carver winced. “I recognize that. I'm guessing whatever is in there isn't good?” He could feel the broodmother inside the next tunnel. He looked at Kahrin and grimaced. “Kahrin, you're vibrating”
She looked at him and began bouncing slightly. “I don't know why, I feel great! Hey, hold still!”
Anders looked at her and his eyes widened. “Dear Maker, how much has she had?”
Carver looked at Anders, his face screwing up with guilt. “Two potions. Fairly close together.”
Kahrin grabbed Carver's face. “Let's get in there, quick! I am pretty sure there's more than one! We need to kill them! Kiss me!”
Anders stepped closer and put a hand on her shoulder. “Kahr, I know you feel great right now, but --” He flinched away from her and grabbed his head. “Maker … she's singing!” He called forth magic and tried to touch her head.
Kahrin recoiled violently and pulled desperately away. Her blood exploded with an itching sensation … and she could … what was that?
She tried to shove him away from her. “Anders what are you doin-- You are making me itch! Stop touching me!” She shrank back in horror.
Anders pulled back too. “Kahr, you are sensing my magic. Please, don't panic. It'll make things worse,” he turned to Carver. “She needs to burn off the lyrium. Smite things. Anything.” He gestured at the wall.
Kahrin shook her head violently and shrunk away from Anders, gathering her will as if by instinct. “Gerroff me, both of you!” she glared at Anders. “The magic. I can feel it, I can …”
“In case you haven't noticed, we are out of emissaries.” Carver snapped. “Unless you want to let her smite you.”
“Uh, no.” Anders looked at his brother-in-law. “But let her toss a few at the wall or something. Or at Velanna,” he couldn't help adding.
“Only if you have a death wish, Anders.” Nathaniel growled.
Kahrin looked at Velanna, and her eyes widened. She shrank in horror from Velanna, licking the roof of her mouth, a bitter flavour of vinegar and raspberries thick there. “Get away from me, Velanna.”
Anders tried to steady her with a hand on the shoulder. “Kahr--”
“No! Stop touching me!” Every time he touched her the tingle on her tongue was stronger … like butterscotch and …
Anders winced away again. He wasn't going to be able to do anything until she burned off some of the lyrium. Justice was too loud in his head with is sodding song. “Maker, she smells like Carroll.”
“Kahrin,” Carver started softly, guilt written on his features. “Can you show me to smite again? I need to see it again.”
Kahrin rolled her eyes slightly, then shook her head against the double vision through which she saw him. “Sure! Which one of you?” She pulled her helm off of her head. It was heavy and irritating. She didn't need it.
He put an arm around her and gently turned her towards the wall. “Not me. Just,” he waved an arm at the wall, mimicking the motion he was well enough familiar with, “show me against the wall.”
She rubbed her face but gathered the will and hit the wall with a near-blinding flash easily. “There! Can we please go now?”
Carver sighed audibly into his hand while everyone else stood around staring but not commenting. “No, love. I didn't quite … just one more time please?” He held up two fingers towards Anders over her head.
Her head was filled with buzzing on top of the distinct feeling of broodmothers beyond. It was hard to concentrate, but she pulled what she had and repeated the demonstration. “No more. We go now.” She caught Carver gesturing to Anders. “For crying out loud. I'll smite the both of you if we don't go now.”
She threw one more, hoping to placate them. Sodding Void, they are wasting my time. “Happy?” She let out a small giggle … though she wasn't sure why she found that funny.
Anders reached towards her again. “Am I still making you itch?”
She shrank back in disgust again. “Maker's taint, Anders. Not as much, but I can taste your … what is that? Magic?” She shook her head hard against the uneasy feel and flavour.
He grinned slightly. “I know. Butterscotch and chocolate. Right? How many Carvers are in the room?”
She began giggling a bit madly. “More than I could attend to properly, but less than a moment ago.” She doubled in a fit of laughter. That didn't feel like something that should have been funny. “Is that what I taste? Andraste's arse I thought I'd thrown up a cookie. If you weren't making me itch I'd … Ha! I'd lick you.”
With his jaw muscles clenched Carver turned to Nathaniel, who was serving him up a healthy glare. He reached into the Taint, into his sesnses. “Howe, I need you to scout ahead and tell us how many we are dealing with.”
Nathaniel looked at the mess that was Kahrin laughing against the wall, her helm discarded on the floor, and then back at Carver. “Of coures. It's part of my job. Keeping everyone else safe.”
He stealthed off down the roughly dug out tunnel in the direction their sense were tugging them, and Kahrin turned to follow, her lips bubbling with a laugh she stopped trying to control. Only Carver's hands on her shoulders kept her in place.
He closed his eyes hard and cursed himself for the failure he was making of this raid.
*[Essentially: “You’ll be done soon” — a death threat]
Perhaps some space between them would be a good thing. She had been so focused on Carver that she could think of little else. Attachments were a bad idea for a Warden. It clouded your objectivity.
Still, she held him, and still, she smoothed his hair, and still, she fretted.
She'd been surprised to be awakened in whatever passed for morning in the Deep Roads. She was used to being the first one awake, and no one had come to collect her for a watch. But when she opened her eyes it was Carver nudging her gently, and she smiled with a tinge of relief.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” he whispered softly into her ear.
She groaned and swatted at him. “Maker's Taint, I don't feel like I've slept at all.” She stirred. “And that is not how you wake me up.” She narrowed her eyes, but ended up grinning.
“We need to go see how the night went,” he groaned slightly as he sat up and looked for the plates to his armour.
Kahrin fussed at his wound site again, lifting up his tunic and gambeson to look at it. “Are you feeling better?”
Carver swatted her hands away. “It's fine, it's fine!” He gave her a look between annoyance and amusement. “We need to get out and get everyone packed up.”
She slapped his hand and kept checking it anyhow. “Andraste's Flaming Sword, Carver, I've barely slept I was so worried.” Satisfied it was indeed healed clean, she tightened her own buckles and began packing up. She gave him a serious look. “Be more careful.” With a quick kiss she was out of the tent.
Her voice rose to the stern tone of a Commander and she stood up looking around at their assembled party. “Coffee, now,” she bellowed.
With a smug look, Velanna pressed a mug into her hand. “Your Lieutenant is going to want to see you.” A look crossed her face that could have been mistaken for a grin.
Kahrin didn't need to look around long to find out what she was talking about. There was Nathaniel, clad in only his breeches, hanging upside down from a wall of the tunnel by spider silk. She gave the elf a stern look.
“What? I woke up and he was in my tent.” She didn't even look remotely apologetic. Kahrin knew he'd sat up over her part of the night to keep an eye on her as she healed from – her exertions in battle the day before.
Kahrin rolled her eyes grumpily and moved to cut him down before Carver saw this mess and had an apoplexy. “Void take you all, this is why I don't want children.”
It was too late though, as he was already clambering out of the tent. He looked around and took in the scene, and Kahrin saw his neck muscles tighten noticeably. “OK. That's it. Velanna, Nathaniel, Anders, I need to speak with you now.”
After being cut down from the wall Nathaniel pointedly ignored him and began searching for his shirt.
“Nathaniel, that was not a request. Get your arse over here.”
Nathaniel raised one eyebrow, obviously trying to keep his breathing even. “You certainly make it difficult to find you remotely tolerable.”
“It's a good thing I don't right care if you sodding like me.”
Anders wandered over with a curious look, rubbing his face. “This should be good.”
“Look,” Carver began, “I don't know what happened, but I wake up to find our archer stuck to a wall with no defenses in the middle of the Deep Roads. Nate, you stay out of Velanna's tent. The Deep Roads is not an appropriate place to fuck.”
Kahrin winced. “Carver, I …” She stopped herself, folding her hands behind her back. It wouldn't be right to undermine him in front of everyone just now.
He rounded on Anders next. “And you, you were on watch last night. I thought you had more brains than that.”
“They woke me up,” he said simply, shrugging.
Nathaniel stalked forward and jabbed a finger into Carver's chest. “You are the last person to be telling anyone what can and can not be done in their own tent. Keep your mind on the mission and stay out of my way.”
Carver grabbed his jabbing finger and glared down at the rogue. “It stopped being your business when it put us all at risk. Whether I like it or not, we need you on this mission.”
“Yet I can see it didn't disturb your rest at all. If someone has a problem with me they may address me directly. If you have a personal problem, whelp, I'd suggest you wait until a more appropriate time. Learning the difference is part of leading. One with which you are not yet accustomed.”
Velanna chose that moment to chime in, naturally. “Now, wait just a moment. I can obviously take care of myself, but should I want him in my tent I will make that decision. Unless you plan to stop sharing a tent with the Commander.” She arched one perfect blonde eyebrow at him.
Kahrin thought a little intervention was in order. “Carver, may I speak with you?”
He turned his face to her. “Yes?”
“C'mere,” she began, leading him away, a soft hand on his elbow. “The rest of you, pack up and be ready to move out.”
He palmed his face. “Maker, I …”
Kahrin crossed her arms over her chest. “I hate to break up this fantastic swaggering party …” She paused and took a breath. “You can't piss off every mage we have. You need them, and I won't have you die down here.” She shoved her hands into her hair and began tying it up into a haste knot at the nape of her neck. “I thought I was the one with the death wish. And what did you mean ‘not a place to fuck’?” She said the last bit a little pointedly. Apparently they had done something sodding wrong the last time they were here together, then. Fabulous.
She knew she was being needlessly cranky.
Carver waved his hand. “Anders is fine. He knows that was stupid. But Velanna? Sure, she was amazing yesterday, but what she did last night, that was a farce.” He crossed his own arms. “As to the last matter, you have to admit it would be stupid. If we were caught without our armour we could die.” He had the decency to look sheepish, she noted.
She blinked at him a few times. “Fine. As you wish, Warden.” She nodded once and turned to the group. “All right, let's haul out. We're clearly done here.”
She strode off.
Carver watched her walk off without saying anything, and then busied himself packing up.
Velanna and Oghren were packed and ready to leave before everyone else. “Let's go find something to kill so the little blighters will stop whinging. Death'll shut 'em up, yeah?”
“You're right, Oghren, let's move it out.” Carver gave the order and they began their march.
Kahrin gave a curt nod to indicate her ascension before striding away. “You want front, or shall I?” She raised her eyebrow at Carver.
He tried for a grin. “If you take front, I get to watch.”
She put her Look firmly in place. “Fine. Bring up the rear and keep your senses honed. Don't want to be caught by surprise.” She knew she was being an utter ass. She just couldn't stop herself.
They hadn't gone far when the thrumming began. They had drawn the horde, and Kahrin put a hand up to halt everyone. “We have company, and not the shiny, happy, kind.”
“Elgarnan!” Velanna yelled. “More darkspawn. Why are we down here?” She palmed her staff and was ready to charge off.
Nathaniel already had his bow out and an arrow nocked and was right behind her as they sought out a place with vantage.
Oghren began laughing. “They'll all be red mist soon enough.”
Anders caste haste on the party and they were upon the horde immediately, and Kahrin felt the itch of magic pulling at her. There were emissaries afoot.
Carver ran up beside Kahrin. “Smite or pommel, love?” he asked as they charged ahead.
“You pommel, I'll smite.” She didn't spare him another glance as she pulled ahead of him.
Carver pushed to keep up with her, bellowing a war cry as Kahrin pulled her will to smite the first emissary that was close to them. The monster reeled back into the wall with a satisfying crack of its head to the earthen tunnel.
“He's going to get back up, be ready,” she yelled. “I'm tired today, so we need to work together.”
They were swarmed almost immediately. Anders let loose a tempest that took out the first wave. Nathaniel's arrows started popping up from the heads of the spawn, and Velanna was throwing roots out to grab everything she could reach.
Gaining the emissary, Kahrin cleansed him as he was getting up and struck him with a riposte that stunned him. Carver leapt and delivered a deathblow to the thing.
He looked about for more of them as he scythed four hurlocks in half.
“Carver, look out!” Kahrin elbowed a hurlock and made a messy kill before lashing out in a dual weapon sweep and beheading several of the stupid genlocks.
They stood back to back and felled as many as they could, Carver scything them down three and four at at time, and Kahrin cutting anything that got too close. There were shrieking cries as darkspawn were cut down or torn apart by Velanna's roots.
Anders began to glow blue again and his eyes changed. He threw charged lightning at any spawn that moved.
Kahrin followed Carver's path while he skewered several hurlocks.
The cavern filled with the sounds of shrieking darkspawn as Velanna tore them limb from blood-soaked limb with vines. Nathaniel slung his bow and pulled his daggers, and summoned his bear to follow him to where she was almost single-handedly attempting to take on half of the horde.
She screamed in a rage, “You should fear the Dalish! Na halam sahlin!”* Her wicked laughter was drown out by the sounds of the horde advancing.
Three emissaries emerged dispersed through the horde, and one burst into a swarm of stinging wasps almost immediately. Seeing this, Velanna wasted no time blasting them with a cone of fire, catching them aflame. She realized only too late that this left her surrounded by darkspawn and a flying inferno of burning insects. Nathaniel slashed his way forward to assist, his bear tearing out the throats of anything in their way.
Kahrin could feel the pull of magic from the emissaries as she and Carver shoved their way through the horde. She could feel each of them niggling at her senses. She slashed across several genlocks and turned to Carver.
“Do you have any lyrium?” She ran a blade through the chest of a hurlock, feeling the blade strike the spine, and spun around to kick a swordsman in the gut.
Carver scythed his blade through another mass of spawn, and gave her a questioning look. “What? Why?”
Kahrin jerked her head at the two not-on-fire emissaries. “There are two more of them. With a little boost I think I can take them both, quickly.”
They kept fighting as she edged in the direction of the pull of magic. Carver gave her a doubtful look. “I don't think …”
“I'm not asking, Warden. Do you have it or not?” Her tone was sharp and all business. She knew he had it. She required everyone to carry small pouches with a small supply of lyrium and elfroot potions.
He pulled a vial from the pouch on his belt and thrust it in her hand. He watched, horrified as she quaffed the glowing potion.
It tasted like hot iron burning down, with a sickly aftertaste of candy that made her want to retch. She clutched her forehead as the liquid shot through her, and she recoiled. The sensation passed almost as quickly as it hit her, and she dashed off towards the emissaries without another word.
Carver could do nothing but fight in the same direction, after her.
Anders saw Velanna set the stinging swarm on fire. The deep and booming voice of Justice filled the cavern, his eyes glowing as if lightning struck behind them, “That was an unwise move, mage.” He began tearing darkspawn apart as he moved through them, making his way towards her.
“I've got this!” she shouted back at him, raising thornblades from the ground, which pierced every spawn in a ring around her and began sucking their lifeforce to replenish her own. She shoved out with a bursting ring of power that sent bodies flying away from where she and Nathaniel stood fighting.
One of the remaining two emissaries caught Carver up in a crushing prison of power, and he hollered out as it started pulling in on him. His ribs popped loudly giving way and there was a sick crunch of grinding bone.
Kahrin heard his cries and staggered a step, looking back. Fuck, that will crush ever bone in his body! The other emissary pulled at her, and yet she hesitated, wanting to run back after him. Her head was spinning with a foggy rush, and she shook it to clear her mind.
As if knowing her conflicted mind, Anders tossed a couple of hasty glyphs near Velanna and Nate and charged back towards Carver. “Do not fear, Commander,” Justice's voice thundered, “I will tend to him.”
Trusting his word, she raced on.
Anders dispelled the grasp that held Carver and he slumped to the ground as Anders used a mind blast to give them space, shoving several creatures away from them with a flash. Anders quickly healed him and filled him with a rejuvenation, then helped him to his feet.
Carver got up and hefted his sword, giving Anders a grateful nod. “You'll be paying for that one, 'spawn.”
Anders sent a blast of colourful lights in the direction of the emissary, which clashed violently and flung the monster into the cavern wall, where it slumped and didn't move again.
“Anders, get back to Velanna and Nate.” Carver tore off after Kahrin, seeing the creature fling magic at her. “Watch out!”
Kahrin felt amazing. She was completely oblivious to Carver yelling to her. She singled the emissary out, and as the creature hit her with a death siphon she only slowed a moment, and gathered her will easily, surprised with how casually she was able to cleanse the spell away.
The emissary righted itself and began drawing power again. Carver attempted to hit it with a smite of his own, but it barely seemed to effect it. Kahrin grinned and smote it easily.
Maker, this is incredible.
She felt her energy draining as she flagged from the repeated use of her templar abilities in addition to the fighting. She felt the smite that Carver had cast out. She called to him over her shoulder. “Get back, you just had most of your bones crushed.”
Carver ignored her, and called to Oghren. “To us!” and waved a hand over his head.
“Get back!” she yelled, determined to keep between him and the horde. Her blood itched. She could … taste something. It was thick like oil on her tongue and sparked at her sense. Magic. The emissary's magic. “I'm all itchy.” She shook her head to clear it.
Carver and Oghren reached her and they chopped down what was left of the horde around her as she faced the emissary again.
“Carver, give me another potion!” She took out the emissary in front of her, but what if there were more?
He blinked at her as he swung an arch with his sword, picking off a few genocks. “One's enough, Kahr, truly. No.”
“If there are more, we have to be prepared! Give me the damned potion and stay out of my way.”
The ground trembled violently. Fantastic. Another ogre. Kahrin could sense each and every body in the cavern with astounding clarity.
Carver clenched his jaw, but produced the potion from his pouch. “I sure hope you know what you're doing.” He thrust the potion into her hand. “Take care of them then, I'm going to deal with our big friend.”
“No worries!” Anders yelled, and he hit the ogre with a dark streak of power, then backed away from it quickly.
Kahrin downed the second potion quickly, and almost threw it back up immediately. She swallowed down the amount that had tried to find its way into her mouth and smacked her tongue against the the wretchedly sweet metallic taste.
Carver tried to smite the last emissary, but missed. “Bloody flames, I'm not good enough at that yet.”
Kahrin hit it easily. She was thrilled with how much easier she could single out the magic and silence it. “It comes with time, love.” Her field of vision flashed momentarily, but she shook it off. “I'll be fine. I've been doing this for years. Go!” She shoved his arm away from her and in the direction of the ogre. “Fuck,” she cried as she doubled over and almost vomited on the floor.
Carver shuddered, but turned and did as he was told without any more hesitation.
Anders had frozen the ogre in an ice spell, from which it was just now freeing itself. Carver ran up and slid underneath it, and hamstrung it from behind.
He looked at Anders. “We need to get back to Kahrin. I thinks she might be--”
“Carver, get away from the ogre before it dies!” Justice's voice boomed from Anders' mouth.
Carver leapt for the creature's head, and slammed his sword hilt-deep into it, and rode the thing to the ground. Understanding crossed his face at Anders' words almost too late, and he dove from the ogre just as it exploded from the walking bomb that had been planted in it. The blast tossed him forward considerably.
The explosion killed many of the surrounding remaining darkspawn.
Carver spit dirt and filth from his mouth as he got up, nodding in satisfaction that the ogre was dead.
Velanna began to flag and fell over slightly as Nathaniel reached her. “You need to slow down before you kill yourself,” he hissed at her. Why he suddenly cared what happened to her, he didn't know.
She jerked her arm away from him. “Paws off of me, shem.” She looked at him confusion, on her face. “But, thank you.” They dashed off together towards the rest of the group.
Carver pointed at Kahrin and frowned to Anders. “She's high. I … we need to get back there.”
Kahrin didn't notice anything except the emissary that had swept into the room from around a corner, screaming as it burst into a swarm and began circling around her.
She laughed loudly. “Hold still, you blighter.” She shook her head and cleansed the swarm out of the air. The emissary fell to ground in its normal form.
Carver reached her first and hit the beast with a successful smite. Kahrin plunged her swords into it, and burst into a fit of gigles. “That, love, is how it's done.” She kept laughing.
Anders caught up with them. “I'm getting too old for this,” he grumbled, then paused. “I smell broodmother.”
Kahrin was still laughing. “I think I do too!” she yelled. “Let's go get it!” She turned to go and Carver caught her by the shoulders.
Nate, Velanna and Oghren reached them. Nate looked at Kahrin and frowned deeply. “Who in the sodding Void let her have lyrium? She smells like that bugger Rylock.”
Velanna muttered under her breath, asking when all the shems went crazy.
Carver winced. “I recognize that. I'm guessing whatever is in there isn't good?” He could feel the broodmother inside the next tunnel. He looked at Kahrin and grimaced. “Kahrin, you're vibrating”
She looked at him and began bouncing slightly. “I don't know why, I feel great! Hey, hold still!”
Anders looked at her and his eyes widened. “Dear Maker, how much has she had?”
Carver looked at Anders, his face screwing up with guilt. “Two potions. Fairly close together.”
Kahrin grabbed Carver's face. “Let's get in there, quick! I am pretty sure there's more than one! We need to kill them! Kiss me!”
Anders stepped closer and put a hand on her shoulder. “Kahr, I know you feel great right now, but --” He flinched away from her and grabbed his head. “Maker … she's singing!” He called forth magic and tried to touch her head.
Kahrin recoiled violently and pulled desperately away. Her blood exploded with an itching sensation … and she could … what was that?
She tried to shove him away from her. “Anders what are you doin-- You are making me itch! Stop touching me!” She shrank back in horror.
Anders pulled back too. “Kahr, you are sensing my magic. Please, don't panic. It'll make things worse,” he turned to Carver. “She needs to burn off the lyrium. Smite things. Anything.” He gestured at the wall.
Kahrin shook her head violently and shrunk away from Anders, gathering her will as if by instinct. “Gerroff me, both of you!” she glared at Anders. “The magic. I can feel it, I can …”
“In case you haven't noticed, we are out of emissaries.” Carver snapped. “Unless you want to let her smite you.”
“Uh, no.” Anders looked at his brother-in-law. “But let her toss a few at the wall or something. Or at Velanna,” he couldn't help adding.
“Only if you have a death wish, Anders.” Nathaniel growled.
Kahrin looked at Velanna, and her eyes widened. She shrank in horror from Velanna, licking the roof of her mouth, a bitter flavour of vinegar and raspberries thick there. “Get away from me, Velanna.”
Anders tried to steady her with a hand on the shoulder. “Kahr--”
“No! Stop touching me!” Every time he touched her the tingle on her tongue was stronger … like butterscotch and …
Anders winced away again. He wasn't going to be able to do anything until she burned off some of the lyrium. Justice was too loud in his head with is sodding song. “Maker, she smells like Carroll.”
“Kahrin,” Carver started softly, guilt written on his features. “Can you show me to smite again? I need to see it again.”
Kahrin rolled her eyes slightly, then shook her head against the double vision through which she saw him. “Sure! Which one of you?” She pulled her helm off of her head. It was heavy and irritating. She didn't need it.
He put an arm around her and gently turned her towards the wall. “Not me. Just,” he waved an arm at the wall, mimicking the motion he was well enough familiar with, “show me against the wall.”
She rubbed her face but gathered the will and hit the wall with a near-blinding flash easily. “There! Can we please go now?”
Carver sighed audibly into his hand while everyone else stood around staring but not commenting. “No, love. I didn't quite … just one more time please?” He held up two fingers towards Anders over her head.
Her head was filled with buzzing on top of the distinct feeling of broodmothers beyond. It was hard to concentrate, but she pulled what she had and repeated the demonstration. “No more. We go now.” She caught Carver gesturing to Anders. “For crying out loud. I'll smite the both of you if we don't go now.”
She threw one more, hoping to placate them. Sodding Void, they are wasting my time. “Happy?” She let out a small giggle … though she wasn't sure why she found that funny.
Anders reached towards her again. “Am I still making you itch?”
She shrank back in disgust again. “Maker's taint, Anders. Not as much, but I can taste your … what is that? Magic?” She shook her head hard against the uneasy feel and flavour.
He grinned slightly. “I know. Butterscotch and chocolate. Right? How many Carvers are in the room?”
She began giggling a bit madly. “More than I could attend to properly, but less than a moment ago.” She doubled in a fit of laughter. That didn't feel like something that should have been funny. “Is that what I taste? Andraste's arse I thought I'd thrown up a cookie. If you weren't making me itch I'd … Ha! I'd lick you.”
With his jaw muscles clenched Carver turned to Nathaniel, who was serving him up a healthy glare. He reached into the Taint, into his sesnses. “Howe, I need you to scout ahead and tell us how many we are dealing with.”
Nathaniel looked at the mess that was Kahrin laughing against the wall, her helm discarded on the floor, and then back at Carver. “Of coures. It's part of my job. Keeping everyone else safe.”
He stealthed off down the roughly dug out tunnel in the direction their sense were tugging them, and Kahrin turned to follow, her lips bubbling with a laugh she stopped trying to control. Only Carver's hands on her shoulders kept her in place.
He closed his eyes hard and cursed himself for the failure he was making of this raid.
*[Essentially: “You’ll be done soon” — a death threat]
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I am miserable reliving all of it. XD Kahrin is just... *flails* No self-esteem, that boy. He needs to DEAL WITH IT.