what happens on FS doesn't always stay *strictly* on FS...

[aithne]

So, over on FS, my Kathil Amell and solitae's Lilian Hawke have discovered that they have a number of things in common, including liking each other. Liking each other a lot. They have been cheerfully snogging and having off-screen adventures for the last little while.

 

 

And, of course, Kathil's Cullen and Zev have been regaled with tales of this pigtailed woman. One night, I decided to haul my Cullen into IRC and let him meet another version of himself, and let everyone meet him and their daughter Cerys. It went rather smashingly, all told, but it was that point that Cullen realized that Kathil hadn't been having just a series of really neat dreams.

And thus, there was a Discussion. *grins* I've been threatening to write this for a while, but I finally finished it.

When they woke, Cerys was nestled between them.

She was wriggling fitfully against Cullen, trying to get turned towards Kathil. He moved a little and turned her; her hunger had been what had wakened the three of them from what had been the most extraordinary not-quite-a-dream that he'd had in some time. He could hear the bells of the Jader chantry through the window at the end of the narrow room.

Kathil shifted and pulled up her shift, letting the hungry baby attach to one of her nipples. She let out a long breath, her eyes still half-closed. "Well. That went…better than I would have expected."

Cullen studied Kathil's face. He had come in to find Kathil in their small room under the eaves of the inn, and somehow found himself in…a bar. With another version of himself in it, along with several women that Kathil seemed to be on friendly terms with. She'd been telling him and Zevran about the series of amazing dreams she'd been having, but…

"That was real?" he asked. "With…the other me, and the woman with pigtails, and the tree and everything?"

"In a manner of speaking." She was looking down at Cerys' head as the baby nursed, making small, contented sounds. "I didn't know how to explain it to make it clear to you that there are other people there with their own minds and personalities and desires."

The door opened, revealing Zevran on the other side. "What is this about desires?" he asked, closing the door behind him. He cocked his head, eyes bright.

"Those dreams Kathil has been telling us about," Cullen said, raising his head a little. "They're real. The elf that looks like her, the pigtailed woman…everything."

Kathil made a soft, protesting noise. "Her name is Lilian," she said.
"And the elf's name is Philomene, or Phi for short. The blonde mage's name is—"

"Laica," Cullen said, remembering. "And you hadn't mentioned that she was involved with me."

"He's not you," Kathil said. "He's…what you might have been. I mean, there are at least four Zevrans—"

Zevran sat down on the edge of the bed. "Four of me?" he said, his hazel eyes alight with interest. "Surely this is paradise!"

Kathil snorted. "And the first thing they all do is have sex with each other," she said. She passed one hand over Cerys's curling hair. "But the other Cullen—we've nicknamed him Ser—is the only other Cullen. He's a Knight-Commander in Kirkwall."

Cullen remembered the man, wearing the same face he saw every time he looked in the mirror. He was sure the wariness in the other Cullen's eyes had been reflected in his own. To see himself, having achieved a dream Cullen had always held very close and quiet…it had been a melancholy moment, once he understood.

And yet, there had been the look on the other man's face when Cerys had reached for him, when he had put her on his shoulder and looked down at her. The wondering amazement, the gentle breath inward, the way his large hands had cradled her—it all spoke of the same aching need that Cullen had hidden for so many years.

He had something so precious here, and it occurred to him that he occasionally took it for granted.

He beckoned to Zevran, who chuckled and pulled off his boots. "Greagoir mentioned at one point that he thought I might do well in Kirkwall. Evidently, in…other Thedases…I was sent there and became a Knight-Captain."

"And the other Zevrans?" Zev asked. "Are we much alike?"

Kathil closed her eyes. "There are…differences. You are by far my favorite Zevran. The best-looking, as well." She grinned. "I am, of course, completely unbiased."

Zevran lay down beside Cullen, stretching his wiry body along Cullen's shoulder and hip. "And if we were to ask about this pigtailed woman, the one who you held down and took such pleasure from? And who you have been involved with since?"

Kathil's scar flushed faintly pink, and the corner of her mouth quirked. "Lilian. Yes. I…enjoy her company."

Zevran was regarding Kathil with a calm, steady gaze. "If she were merely a dream, there would be no issue, yes? And if she were merely a woman in this world you had made love to once or twice, there would also be no issue. But she is real, according to Cullen, and your entanglement is ongoing. Thus…"

"Issue." Kathil's voice was rueful. "I…I know. If I'd tried to explain it, that there's a bar in the Fade with a bartender who's a talking cat and so many Wardens and Hawkes and others, you would have thought I was mad. And if I'd said there was a woman there who had caught my eye, not to mention other things—"

"We would have thought you really had gone mad this time." Cullen shook his head. Something inside of him was beginning to relax a little. "The way you kissed her, right before we left. I know you. That wasn't a kiss you give to someone you're just seeing casually."

She transferred Cerys to her other breast, the baby making a brief, murmuring noise of protest. "Please don't tell Lils that. It is what it is, between us, and it may yet run its course."

Zevran chuckled and reached over Cullen to trace a finger down the side of her neck. "Do you care for her?" he asked, his voice low.

Kathil swallowed. "She's fun," she said. "She worked hard to get through to me. She's a mage, and a wickedly intelligent one, at that. We're good together. In bed, and out of it." There was a small smile stealing across her face. "And she has an Isabela."

"She did introduce herself as a pirate," Cullen said. "Is this the same Isabela who you occasionally mention?"

"The exact same. Pirate queen extraordinaire, and someone Zevran is familiar with." Her grin intensified, and then faded a little. "Yes. Yes, I care for her."

"Good," Zevran said. "I will meet this Lilian, yes?" There was a hint of steel beneath his light tone. "If you wish to keep her."

Kathil raised her head and met Zevran's gaze with a steady look of her own. "You wouldn't ask me to drop her."

"I would not. But I must make sure that she is good enough for you, little bird." There was a small smile on Zevran's lips. "Though…Isabela, do you say? I remember her very fondly."

She laughed. "Only you would say that you remember a woman whose husband you killed very fondly." Cerys blinked and stirred, evidently done with her meal for the moment. Cullen shifted so he could take her. "I'll arrange a meeting. It may be a few days—I'd like to get through what we have to deal with in Jader first."

Zevran nodded and reached over to stroke a hand down her shoulder. Kathil closed her eyes. "You have had a worry removed from your shoulders, my Templar," he murmured into Cullen's ear. "Meeting this woman was reassuring?"

"I…thought, perhaps, the dreams were indicative—" Cullen shook his head and pulled his daughter closer, rubbing her back. She was wiggling a bit, fretfully. "I thought you were unhappy and not telling us, Kathil. I mean…I knew you in the Tower. I knew you had eyes only for women, back then."

She opened her eyes a little, looking up into Cullen's face. The corner of her mouth quirked a little. "You were worried that I'm surrounded by men who love me and take wonderful care of me."

When she put it that way… "I thought you might miss women," he said, shaking his head. Cerys burped and then snuggled down into his chest. "The dreams…I thought that was your way of telling us that."

There was a moment of silence then, as she regarded him and his words. "Perhaps it was," she said softly. "Sex is easy to come by. I've slept with enough people to know that. But meeting someone who isn't afraid of me, who likes me both in and out of bed, a woman and a mage—that's rare. She can't come here, I can't go there, but we can meet in the Fade."

Zevran's hand drifted to Kathil's hair, tucked an errant pale wisp behind her ear. "And if I determine that she is a danger?"

Her eyes had been drifting closed, and at his words they snapped open. "She isn't."

Zevran's voice was soft. "But if she is."

Kathil closed her eyes. Her head tipped forward, and she kissed Cerys's hair. "I will argue. And I will be very angry."

She did not add, but I will let her go. Cullen heard it anyway.

Zevran pressed a kiss to the back of Cullen's neck, then breathed out slowly, relaxing. Cerys fisted one hand in Cerys's shirt, falling asleep with her warm, damp skin against him. The four of them drifted into a doze, but if they dreamed it was of places other than a bar.

The bells kept ringing, the music of them drifting in on the salt breeze, but after a time Cullen barely heard them.

Comments

[solitae]

Eeee! I'm so glad you wrote this. I really wanted to see what happened with Kathil and her boys after that meeting. What an awkward thing to explain.

So many nice things about Lils <3

Please don't tell Lils that. made me giggle, especially knowing how the conversation with her and Zev went.

I loved the peek in Cullen's head about the other Cullen too, the thoughts on Cerys and the other him becoming Knight-Captain.

[aithne]

*grins* I did mention that Kathil adores Lils, yes?

And I know! The funny part is that part was written before Lils and Zev had that conversation. Obviously he took that request, shrugged, and chucked it out the window because it got in the way of what he sees as protecting Kathil. Protective Zev is protective! :)

And it's sort of cool to see the two Cullens meet and realize that both of them have realized a dream that the other one holds dear. They're so fun. *snuggles the Cullens*