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peopleofthedas2011-03-21 01:47 pm
DA2 Fanfic: Confession
Title: Confession
Characters: M!Hawke, Fenris
Rating: T
Word Count: 725
Summary: The warmth of Fenris' personal sun has been eclipsed.
It felt strange to go openly to him, after so many years of dreaming it; liberating to walk of my own will into his house, with everything out in the open between us.
In all these years, despite everything that had happened, he’d always smiled. A half-smile, his head cocked to one side; to me it had been like travelling with a personal sun, which warmed without burning.
Today, when it was all over, when the mages he’d fought so hard to save cheered in the streets for the dangerous freedom they had gained, he sat on the bed, hands loosely clasped before him and had no smile for me.
“You were right, Fenris, I’m sorry.”
For a moment I couldn’t think what it was he could mean, couldn’t imagine what it was that I could be right about. A cold fear gripped me; that he’d finally come around to my old conclusion, that he did not believe we could be together. That, once again, I had nothing.
“I’ve known for a long time that you were right; that the mages were too dangerous. I knew when that… thing wore my mother’s face and spoke with her voice.” The old pain in his own voice wrenched at me. “I knew when we had to kill Keeper Merethari.” He drew a shuddering breath while I stood and stared at him in disbelief. “I should have killed Anders; I knew that too.”
He’d let them all loose, and I’d stood by him. I’d believed in him, even if I didn’t believe in them. And now this? I couldn’t- There was nothing I-
Alright, there was one thing. “Why, then?”
“Because of Bethany. It was all because of Bethany.” He sounded weary beyond measure, dragged beyond belief. Since the battle ended they had touted him around like a good luck banner, so that as far as I knew he’d taken no rest. He snorted mirthlessly, and I wished I had a bottle to hand him, as the only panacea I could offer. “Every time I met yet another mage who blew up like a puffer-fish, too unstable to cope with life without taking a knife to their wrist, every time I stuck my daggers into yet another demon who used to be human, I swore that this time I’d change sides, this time I’d learn my lesson.” His eyes, usually so merry, were a little blank, but they held mine steadily. “And, when the next chance came, I thought of Bethany under the heel of that monster Meredith, of my innocent baby sister killed in the Rite of Annulment, and I couldn’t do it.”
He shifted slightly where he sat, legs apart, hands clasped loosely between them. I don’t think I’d moved a muscle since he began speaking. “I told myself it wasn’t just Bethany, it was what she represented: there had to be other stable mages, ones like her and Orsino.” A note of indignation entered his voice. “And then, when it was too late, when the die was cast and we were locked into battle, even the Maker-damned First Enchanter turned to blood magic. It wasn’t even necessary, we were winning.” For the first time he dropped his eyes from mine. “You were right and yet, even then, you never said I told you so. You should have, I deserved it.”
It was hard to speak past the lump in my throat, making my words harsher than I intended. “I told you once that if you wanted your actions redeemed you were asking the wrong man. The same goes for if you want them condemned.” I tried to soften it as best I could, but it has never been my forte. “At least your sister was worth saving.”
My reward was to see the half-smile return, a glint of life in the pale brown eyes that he raised to mine. He stood, graceful as always, and crossed the room to stand before me.
“What a comfort that will be, when we’re surrounded by exploding puffer-fish.”
My hand came up of its own volition to wrap around his nape, beneath his silky golden hair. Mine, still mine. The mages may go off like little dwarven bombs, but…
“We’ll keep the demons down together, Hawke.” Personal ones as well as public. “But first, I think we need a drink.”
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I hated that Orsino did that, especially when we were winning! We could have held that courtyard for years...
And then this pisses me off too. They're never on your side after they become demons. You'd think the stupid mages would figure it out eventually.
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My poor Hawke really did keep saying, all the way through 'right, that's it, that's the last straw, no more bloody mages'. but then the templars kept upping the stakes. If I could have found a way to get Cullen to take over from Meredith earlier, I would have changed sides in a second. If I'd taken Bethany into the Deep Roads it would all have been different.
Anyway, rant over. *breathes* Glad to have that out of my system.
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There's a reason for all those exploding puffer-fish.
The mason showed me a plan of the city, and my heart skipped a beat. There were patterns in the intersections, back alleys, and boulevards. Some magisters believed in the power of symbols or shapes. In the oldest parts of the city , one can make out the outlines of glyphs in the very streets! What manner of magic is this?
SNIP
The list of elven children is numbing: "three maimed, two mute, and four servicable." These numbers don't add up. For every thousands slaves that came t oKirkwall, a hundred disappeared. I checked the tax rolls, as well, and the discrepancy exists there, too, if one has the wit to see it: 203 slaves went missing in the Imperium's 312th year! That's just one year. Other records showed similar discrepancies. Over centuries, partically a whole civilization of slaves simply disappeared.
SNIP
The mage of Kirkwall havea amore troubled history than those in other Circles. A greater percentage of them do not survive the Harrowing, and a greater percentage turn to blood magic - almost double that of Starkhaven or Ostwick. Is there a secret fraternity delving into the Tevinter secrets of this city?
SNIP
Access has not been easy, and I fear my disguise will not bear great scrutiny. But I saw the records the templars say do not exist. The blood of countless slaves was spilled beneath the city in sacrifice. Whole buildings were built upon lakes of blood. The sewers have grooves where blood woudl flow, all leading down. The scale is hard to fathom.
A blood mage can channel great power from a simple cut. At least a thousand unfortunates died here every year for centuries. For what ungodly purpose would one need so much power?
I must retreat now before I am uncovered. But the answer is close.
- Behind a panel with curious markings and signed, "The Band of Three"
It is well known that the Veil is thin in Kirkwall, small wonder given the suffering in the city. But we've discovered the magisters were deliberately thinning it even further. Beneath the city, demons can contact even normal men. Did they seek the Black City to compound the madness of their previous efforts? Or was it something else" We've found a chamber where the Veil is at its thinnest, long-since looted, but the power is still there. Tonight we will go there. Pray for us. Pray for us all.
If your Hawke and Fenris--or the Chantry--are basing their opinions of the mages on the behavior of those in Kirkwall, it's going to be a very skewed perspective. In DAO Wynne talks at length about how careful mages must be. But what might be a controllable occasional temptation for mages elsewhere is literally a constantly chafing, taunting presence in Kirkwall. Even Orsino, who had been strong enough to resist them up until that moment, eventually succumbed.
It also perhaps explains some of the templar behavior, if even non-magic folk can be tempted by demons in Kirkwall, then templars--who straddle the line, sensitive to magic--must be easy pickings.
What's very interesting is that the templars are aware of this... and hiding it. Why? Are they hoping to use the example of Kirkwall as an excuse to eradicate mages? To take over the Chantry, rather than simply being the Chantry's military arm, and start initiating their own Exalted Marches?
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Thank god there's at least a rational explanation hidden in the plot somewhere. It'll make a good Awakenings style expansion to DA2, if that's what they are planning.
EDIT: Not that it helps my Hawke (or many other people's who didn't read thoroughly enough). If he knew about that he'd have Bethany out of Kirkwall in a flash.
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I spoke truer than I knew...
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Somewhere around early Act Three I realised that I was doing quests without having it straight in my head exactly who was who. I'm betting that the name of the madman who killed my mother was one of the things that slipped under my radar.
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Orsino's downfall pissed me off so much.
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