peopleofthedas | Headcases

Note: This is best read after finishing Chapter 56 of Vir Lath Sa'vunin.

Shimmy and I have our, er, moments when writing together. The Saga of For the Love of God We Need to Get Caerwyn the Fsck Out of the Deep Roads and Make Tesni Stop Bleeding was a particularly good couple of sessions. We were so depressed by and frustrated with Caerwyn's angst and Tesni's--to put it delicately--tendency to get the shit beaten out of herself that we often unintentionally launched ourselves into spontaneous fits of cathartic comic relief.

The following is an example of one such "fit." Without further ado, I give you the list of names we came up with for Caridin's crown in one very long, very giggly conversation:

The ones from chapters 54 and 56:

World’s Ugliest Crown
Hideous Facetrap
Gilded Headcage
Horrific Helm
Royal Roof
Metal Mindcrusher

The ones that didn’t make the cut:

The Forehead Tower
The Facecrusher
Fort Fugly
The Headcase
The Crown of Compensation
The Girlshield
The Dwarven Sweatervest
The Modhat
The Serious Crown
Caridin's Last Joke
The Royal Headgolem
The Ass of Aeducan
The Facefork
The Beardtopper
The Amazing Headcork
The Headdesk
Ye King's Golden Crownshelf
Orzammar's Most Extravagant Target
The Blockhead
The Tower of Tastelessness
The Brainsucker
Eyebrow Keep

Got anymore? We'd love to hear them!

There it is. An ugly lump of hot metal to go over a couple of empty heads.