Headcases

[lenna_nightrunner]

Note: This is best read after finishing Chapter 56 of Vir Lath Sa'vunin.


Shimmy and I have our, er, moments when writing together. The Saga of For the Love of God We Need to Get Caerwyn the Fsck Out of the Deep Roads and Make Tesni Stop Bleeding was a particularly good couple of sessions. We were so depressed by and frustrated with Caerwyn's angst and Tesni's--to put it delicately--tendency to get the shit beaten out of herself that we often unintentionally launched ourselves into spontaneous fits of cathartic comic relief.

The following is an example of one such "fit." Without further ado, I give you the list of names we came up with for Caridin's crown in one very long, very giggly conversation:




The ones from chapters 54 and 56:

World’s Ugliest Crown
Hideous Facetrap
Gilded Headcage
Horrific Helm
Royal Roof
Metal Mindcrusher

The ones that didn’t make the cut:

The Forehead Tower
The Facecrusher
Fort Fugly
The Headcase
The Crown of Compensation
The Girlshield
The Dwarven Sweatervest
The Modhat
The Serious Crown
Caridin's Last Joke
The Royal Headgolem
The Ass of Aeducan
The Facefork
The Beardtopper
The Amazing Headcork
The Headdesk
Ye King's Golden Crownshelf
Orzammar's Most Extravagant Target
The Blockhead
The Tower of Tastelessness
The Brainsucker
Eyebrow Keep


Got anymore? We'd love to hear them!

There it is. An ugly lump of hot metal to go over a couple of empty heads.

Comments

[darkrose]

Something including the word Lego.

[lenna_nightrunner]

Lego of the Legion?

[darkrose]

MADE OF WIN

ACTION BHELEN WITH CROWN. BUILD AND PROGRAM YOUR OWN TINY DICTATOR

[twist_shimmy]

Re: ACTION BHELEN WITH CROWN. BUILD AND PROGRAM YOUR OWN TINY DICTATOR

[jannifer]

Woot! \o/

I love "Caridin's Last Joke" and "The Brainsucker".

I might add "The Headhugger" as a nod to the face-huggers in the "Alien" movies. It probably has a similar effect -- inserting an alien life form that will eventually kill you, especially given the nature of dwarven politics.

Re: ACTION BHELEN WITH CROWN. BUILD AND PROGRAM YOUR OWN TINY DICTATOR

[twist_shimmy]

I was trying to think of a way to make an Alien joke for half of the conversation. Great minds, darling!

Re: ACTION BHELEN WITH CROWN. BUILD AND PROGRAM YOUR OWN TINY DICTATOR

[jannifer]

There is just something in the way it comes down around the head like a helmet that makes me think of their legs. All it needs is a chokey tail. *snicker*

Re: ACTION BHELEN WITH CROWN. BUILD AND PROGRAM YOUR OWN TINY DICTATOR

[andorin]

Hubby wonders why I'm laughing so hard right now. Lego Bhelen is oure win I tell you.

Re: ACTION BHELEN WITH CROWN. BUILD AND PROGRAM YOUR OWN TINY DICTATOR

[twist_shimmy]

*bow, twirl* If I had let myself I would have worked on it for hours. But then Herren would have come home and made THAT FACE. XD

Dwarven Sweatervest

[twist_shimmy]

The reference might be too vague, so here:

"I think vests are all about protection. Like, the life vest protects you from drowning. And the bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot. And the sweater vest protects you from pretty girls."

-Demitri Martin

[visser]

How about the Royal Ashtray?

Cause it looks like one.

[twist_shimmy]

*Dying of laughter* Oh, it has a use. "Bhelen, hold still, I'm ashing on the carpet again." *flickflick*

[lenna_nightrunner]

*fit of giggles* You are so right.

[scarylady]

Fort Fugly should have made the cut, for sure :D

[twist_shimmy]

Lenna vetoed it on the grounds that Caer wouldn't know the word "fugly." >:

[scarylady]

Sounds like something Oghren would have taught him.

[lenna_nightrunner]

Yeah I had to say no because he wouldn't know "fugly." Even if Oghren said it ;D