peopleofthedas | DAO Fandom: Needs Moar Macros

(I'm sorry, mods, I have no clue how to tag this)

Over on

ontd_startrek, they have this thing where they make macros. Lots and lots of macros (which are NSFW due to an impressive amount of profanity). There are macros for the major characters. There are macros for the minor characters. There are macros for the actors and for the crew and for the lens flare.

So anyway, I was thinking that DAO fandom could totally do some awesome macros. I even tried my hand at a couple; the problem is that I suck at graphic design. Seriously, my only photo editing software is Irfan View. I did come up with text for Duncan and Teagan macros, because writing "fuck" ever other sentence is totally my fucking idiom.

We need some macros up in here. If someone wants to do text for either of these, I'd have your internet babies:

Oh shit take a look at this motherfucking Grey Warden DUNCAN. Darkspawn just roll over and die to save time when they see his fine ass coming. How badass is he? So badass that he's a rogue with warrior skills and that spells Bad Motherfucker. He goes to the Deep Roads on fucking vacation, and he makes that skirt on his armor look good.

He was BFF's with Maric the Fucking Savior and King Cailan better not even think about going into battle without the mighty Duncan at his side or he's gonna get his dumb ass kicked even worse that it's already scheduled for.

He's like EF Fucking Hutton: when Duncan talks, you better shut the fuck up and recognize, I don't care if you're a mage or dwarf or elf or the Hero of the Goddamn River Dane. And if he wants someone in the Grey Wardens, well shit, motherfucking Grand Cleric can sit her ass down because he has the Right of Conscription and he won't hesitate to invoke that shit.

And you better believe he ain't going out like a fucking punk. Duncan's gonna fucking rock climb that ogre and stab him in the fucking neck before he goes down so hard you can't even find his goddamn body. But quit crying, and I'm looking at you Alistair, because you're a fucking Grey Warden and Duncan expects you to act like it or else he's gonna come back from the dead and kick your sorry ass into shape. Now take his fucking awesome sword and dagger and go put the fear of the fucking Maker into some Darkspawn like you know he'd want.

Y'all better get up and recognize, because this here is Teagan fucking Guerrin, Bann of Rainesfere. You can just call him THE BANNHAMMER, though, because the hammer is his penis and it's a two handed Weapon of Mass Seduction.

The Bannhammer will call you out on your bullshit, whether you're Loghain or his dumb-assed sister-in-law screaming "Teeeeegaaaaan!" or even the goddamn queen. "Was your father also doing what was best for your husband" and oh snap, Your Majesty, someone has just been told. And when the fucking zombie invasion happens, he's not hiding up in the castle, he's down there defending fucking Redcliffe from the undead and then he's gonna go back and talk some sense into his nephew because Uncle Teagan is sick of this bullshit.

Screw what's proper, because the Bannhammer don't care if you're an elf or a dwarf or a mage--he'll flirt with you so hard you won't even notice that stupid forelock braid (even though he totally fucking works it), and if he wants to marry a blacksmith or a seriously fucking hot barmaid, then he will, and Eamon if you complain he'll take that stick out of your ass and beat you with it.

Don't lie, ladies, you know you'd hit that like the fist of an angry Maker.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Let me just say that trying to find an image editing program I liked that was free is a bitch. This computer came with Corel Photoshop but the damn thing wouldn't let me undo anything. GIMP refuses to work at home, though I use it all the time at work. I finally used Picasa. Tomorrow I'm digging out my old Photoshop 7 discs. Only for Alistair would I go through this.

YOU ARE MADE OF WIN!

(I mean, I knew that already, but still. :) )

*sigh*

Wit.

I envy those of you who have it.

I know. I have a horrible feeling that if I tried to write something like this, then it would come out all restrained and polite and English

I can't help it; it's in me genes.

A Brit. Worrying about not being witty.

*boggle*

You, my love, are the very essence of wit, just by virtue of your Britishness.

My Anglophilia: let me show you it.

Sarcastic wit, dry wit, restrained humour. Yup, we can manage all of those. Not that kind of full-on blast though. It's Not British.

Well, see, I can't do any of the above, so there ya have it.

If I did one of those thingies it would probably say

"Alistair, he's rather a nice chap."

I'm pulling out all the stops, you'll note.

And I would just be sitting here applauding you for doing so because I love words like "chap" which you Brits use and us Yanks don't.

I bet you get a delicious shiver every time I say 'arse' in my fics, huh?

"Alistair; he's rather a nice chap, who likes getting his arse tanned.

*RCD faints dead away*

/swoon

Speaking of which, I was going to post a prompt in a new post, but you've left me the perfect opening.

I NEED more Zev/Alistair/Aedan.

So... Alistair's been at the game a while. He's gotten more comfortable. Now he's feeling the need to push boundaries.

Maybe he's frustrated over something in his marriage, or some vague affair of state. Maybe he wants to take Scary!Aedan out for a test drive, or see just how far he can push until Zev breaks out his own scary persona. Anyway, be becomes the mouthy, rebellious bottom who needs to be taken down HARD.

Gimme? Please?

I'll probably give you that eventually, but he's not ready yet.

I have other, earlier, parts of his training to do first.

(no subject)

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I'm fainting too at that.

Another Anglophiliac, luv? Or just fainting at the concept?

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cave_fatuam - 2010-10-11 01:57 (UTC) - Expand

Oh, I dunno...one of my favorite actors is Jason Isaacs, who claims that he ended up at Central School of Drama because he was too polite and British to tell the woman he auditioned for that he'd just gone to keep a friend company. Then you listen to the man give an interview, and every third word out of his mouth is "fuck" or some variant thereof.

I love him so. :)

He'd make a great Loghain. What with those icy blue eyes and all. Yes, I did read "The Stolen Throne" today, why do you ask?

Yeah, but Alan Rickman's probably got Loghain in the bag. Any resemblance to another character in a best-selling franchise is, of course, pure coincidence.

And was that like, the slashiest non-fanfic you've ever read, or what?

INORITE?

I dunno, I figured Rickman for Arl Howe. I could go either way, though. Liam as Duncan, or Arl Eamon?

Liam is totally Duncan: BAMF who dies in the first 15 minutes and everyone spends the rest of the movie talking about him. Also, Duncan totally = Qui Gon.

I'm thinking Rickman as Loghain and Jason as Howe. Jason could probably make me not hate Howe. (I totally rooted for Tavington, but then again, he was going up against Mel Gibson, so he automatically got points for that.)

Edited 2010-10-11 01:26 (UTC)

V.V. true. And Alistair even kinda looks like Ewan, so...

Well, yes. But I actually bought that movie purely for Jason's portrayal of Tavington, so, yes. By all means, he shall be Howe.

elysium_fic - 2010-10-11 05:46 (UTC) - Expand

Oh this made me giggle! :)

LOVE!!