Feedback?

[trilliumg]

Just posting this here to get some feel for why I lost readers on the kink!meme. Is it the ending? Is it one of the kinks? Hit me. Yes, I know this is only smut, but I'd like some honest yet gentle feedback. Thanks. Actually, any general criticism would be welcomed too. If anyone wants me to return the favor, I'd be more than happy to do so.

Title: A Royal Comeuppance (18+/NSFW)
Pairing: Alistair/F!Aeducan/Cailan
Words: 7472
Synopsis: Alistair and Cailan have each been seduced and dominated by Sereda. They decide it's time to take her down a notch.
Warnings:  Mild dub-con, bondage, group sex, rimming, "fake" slash, "fake" incest, almost-shaming

Link to story on the meme

Comments

Re: Feedback

[trilliumg]

Thanks so much for your detailed comments! Yeah, I guess I assumed that since they were obviously faking it to push Sereda's buttons, it wasn't "real" slash or incest, and wouldn't require either tag. My bad.

The sad thing is, I don't even care that much for slash myself in fanfic. It just jumped out at me and said, "Hey, here's a way to get under her skin." I'll know to tag it next time.

Going back through it, it's ridiculous to try to pawn this off as Alistair's dream when there's so much of Sereda's POV in it. I either have to rewrite her parts or redo the ending. I'm guessing I'll go for the latter, something along the lines of what you've suggested, which will fit better with regard to tone.

Again, thanks for taking the time to write this up. It's a big help.