peopleofthedas | Vir Lath Sa'Vunin B-Side Track Six

Vir Lath Sa'vunin B-side Track Six
Occurs between B-side Track 5 and Chapter 61

Title: Stupid Little Things, Silly Little Words (mi6)
Characters: Zevran, f!Mahariel (Tesni), m!Mahariel (Caerwyn), Alistair, Leliana, Miscellaneous Scandalized Keep Inhabitants
Rating: T
Word Count: 2065
Summary: Idle hands are the Trickster’s playground.

ZEVRAN

Mi tesora was happy again. How long it seemed since she had been so! The spark in her eyes that meant she was smiling and the sound in her throat that was laughter had returned with a strength that I had not been able to draw from her while we had been gone.

I no longer had her to myself, but I was happy to share her attention because there was such joy in her now. Her brothers had made her whole again, and at least for a short time the burden of being responsible for the protection of Ferelden seemed to have lifted from her shoulders.

My beautiful killer. How strange and wonderful it is to see you smile so freely.

But with my Warden and her siblings preoccupied with their various duties and obligations, I had to find ways to entertain myself.

At least I did not have to try very hard to do so. Now that all three of them were back at the keep together and had brought another Warden from--Maker forbid--Orlais (never mind that he was actually Fereldan), the keep’s inhabitants were unable to decide which scandals were most worthy of being fodder for rumors.

It seemed that there had already been quite enough to gossip about before my Warden and I had returned: not only had the human Warden who they had come to respect begun sharing a bed with his Dalish blood brother, but the Dalish Warden was also openly courting--some said corrupting--a human woman (never mind that she, too, was from Orlais but actually Fereldan). Thank the Maker there were so few children about!

“And his face,” a plump woman who worked in the kitchens said to a servant girl over a pot of some kind of boiling liquid (I hesitated to call it soup). “What does he mean by covering it up with all that black and then stalking about the grounds scowling at anyone who so much as looks at him!”

“Unless it’s a pretty girl,” the servant said.

“That’s right!” The plump woman nodded emphatically. “Mind you keep an eye out, dearie. I reckon he might go after you if he’s given the chance.”

The girl looked horrified.

“Do not worry yourself, señorita,” I said to the servant girl (who was hardly pretty enough for my tastes, let alone my Dalish friend's), “I suspect that you need not fear catching the Grey Warden’s attention.”

I had fled for the hallway before my meaning had dawned upon the poor woman.

Rather than appeasing my boredom for the time being, antagonizing the servants only encouraged me to find more gullible targets through which to spread gossip. While wandering idly through the barracks several hours later, I came across four soldiers talking together in fierce whispers.

“What, all of them?” A young man's voice. I positioned my face so that I could see into the room but not be seen.

A strong-featured woman in heavy armor spoke next. "Well, not the old one.”

“But the other three? All in the same bed?”

“Sara said she saw Warden Alistair sneaking into the Warden-Commander’s room one night,” said a younger woman, “and when she went to draw a bath for the other Dalish Warden in the morning, only the bard was there!”

“No!”

“And then all three of them came down to breakfast at the same time!”

The fourth soldier--a bearded man--cut in. “But aren’t the Dalish related?”

“They’re brother and sister.”

All four made sounds of disgust.

“I wish I could say I’m surprised," muttered the man. "I’ve heard worse about the Dalish.”

Oh, this was simply too beautiful to resist making worse. If the Maker had not wished me to interfere, would He have allowed me to stumble upon such a tempting opportunity? Really, what would anyone else do, were they in my position?

“You cannot imagine the worst, my friend,” I said as I strode into the room. “I was captured by the Dalish and held prisoner for nearly a year.”

The soldiers, especially the younger woman, looked horrified.

"What did they do to you?” she asked.

"Do you see these markings?" I ran my fingertips over my tattoos. "One for each time I tried to escape."

“Three times?”

I hung my head as if in shame. “There are... others.”

Murmurs of pity rippled through the group before the young man spoke again. “My cousin said he saw a Dalish steal a babe right from his mother’s arms."

“Sadly, it is true. They raise the babes as pets, and then when they are grown, they....” I feigned a deep horror. “I am sorry. It is difficult for me to talk about."

It was a sign of how scandalized they were about our Dalish Grey Wardens that they were treating a “knife ear” as an equal. The enemy of my enemy....

“I hear they get more added to their tattoos every time they kill a human,” the older woman said.

“The tattooing begins after they have made their first kill.” In a way, that was true. “You can see why a Dalish like the Warden-Commander’s brother is so feared, and she herself is nearly as marked. After what I have seen, I am careful not to displease them. I suggest you do the same.”

There. Now mi tesora could not say that I was being entirely unhelpful, could she? I grinned as I left the soldiers to their horrified speculations.

Next, to see if the mages would be as much fun!

Sadly, they were not. In fact, Wynne told me that I was distracting them from their studies, so I again had to search for amusement elsewhere. When none was to be found, I settled for a meal.

“How are you not bored to tears?” I asked our sweet-voiced bard, who had finished her lunch just before I sat down beside her.

She shrugged. “I’ve been helping the soldiers hone their skills with the bow. Of course,” she added, “there is only so much to do after I have told them how to improve their technique. They are soldiers, after all, not novices.”

“And the keep is spotless from top to bottom,” I said, “and the library impeccably organized. You have run out of occupations!”

“Yes.” Our bard sighed. “What do you do to pass the time?”

“I spread rumors and sow discontent!”

She nearly laughed, but then her smile faltered and her eyes widened. “Really? No, you must be joking.”

“Not at all.” I grinned. “I am perfectly serious.”

“Zevran, Tesni and Caerwyn will kill you in your sleep!”

“Ah, but when I am asleep they are in their pile, and so I am safe for the moment.”

When she frowned, I fixed her with a knowing look. “You miss your lover.”

“Well, I...” She blushed. “Of course I do.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “You and I are not people who blush, sonricita.[1] Hired killers who employ sex to secure their targets do not blush!”

She tried her best to look scandalized, but soon her mouth turned up and she gave in and laughed in that charmingly musical way of hers. “Perhaps the Maker has returned that skill to me now that I have repented and abandoned my sinful ways.”

“You do not remember them fondly?” I raised an eyebrow. “Surely you must reminisce from time to time.”

When she tried to hide another smile, I nudged her shoulder with mine. “Come, tell me a story from your sinful days! It will pass the time, no?”

A moment’s hesitation, then her eyes gained a glint of mischievousness. “Very well,” she said, “I was once hired to kill the Orlesian ambassador to....”

I decided to take credit for my Warden’s suggestion that she and her brothers try sleeping separately for a few nights. She would say that it was because her brother was neglecting his sweet-voiced lover, and that she wanted to try to combat the rumors about her and her brothers--I decided not to take credit for that--but she certainly seemed to enjoy having me to herself for the first time since we had returned from Denerim.

Though the walls were solid rock a foot thick, she had insisted that we keep quiet for the sake of her image as the formidable Warden-Commander. I made her pay for every second of my silence.

But the next night she desired only sleep. This turned out to be a very lucky choice, because another of the Wardens’ nightmares struck while we slept.

I ran my fingers through her hair and stroked my thumb across her cheek until she woke enough that her breathing began to ease. The sound of the door opening and her brother slipping in with his nearly silent footsteps did not cause her to stir.

It occurred to me then that I’d promised to keep our... arrangement a secret for as long as possible. Hm. Well, there was nothing to be done about it now. I ignored our intruder as he crawled beneath the blankets in favor of soothing my Warden.

"Hush, tesora." I said gently. "You are awake now."

I saw her brother stiffen in surprise by the light of the candle she insisted on keeping lit through the night in case of unexpected attacks. But she chose that moment to tilt her face up for a kiss. How could I refuse?

I was allowed a moment to enjoy the kiss before her brother’s snarl of outrage woke her fully. She quickly pulled away from me with a charming little sound of embarrassment. Lucky we had both slept with some form of clothing on!

"The Maker has smiled upon me!" I said, grinning. "Two beautiful Dalish to share a bed with. What more could anyone hope for?"

Her brother wrinkled his nose in disgust while Tesni smacked my shoulder, hard.

"You knew he was here!"

I smirked and rubbed at my arm.

"And you--” she sputtered. Her eyes narrowed. “I hate you."

"If that is the case, then you are very good at hiding it," I teased, and slid my fingers through her hair again.

"Hey!" Her brother swatted my hand away. "Make him go away," he growled.

It seemed my Warden had had good reason to wish for secrecy. Her brother was unsurprisingly as protective of her as he was loyal: fiercely. Sharing her with their blood brother was a natural choice, but now a 'flat-eared' assassin was vying for her affection. Unacceptable!

His possessiveness was endearing. I chuckled.

The hinges of the door creaked again, and this time the footsteps were stronger and heavier. Recognizable to all three of us.

Caerwyn swore in elvish.

“Alistair,” my Warden groaned in embarrassment.

“Ah, the whole family is here!” I said with exaggerated glee. “Come join us, my friend!”

I saw the shadow that was their human brother freeze. “Zevran? What are you doing here?”

“Tesni’s going to make him go away,” Caerwyn said, his voice aimed at his sister but his eyes glaring at me. “Right?”

“Yes,” she said, and gave me an annoyed look. “Go.”

“You are so cruel, tesora.”

“Actually, I’m the opposite. I’m saving you from getting knifed in your sleep.”

I laughed. “Judging by the face your brother is making, it may be too late for that.”

“You’ve got that right,” he muttered, and my Warden gave him a sharp look before turning her attention back to me.

“Go.” She shoved at me insistently. “You’re in Alistair’s spot.”

“I’m not sure I want it anymore,” he said from where he was hovering awkwardly by the door.

She made a sound of exasperation. “You,” she said, and prodded my side, “go. You,” she called to Alistair, “come here.”

“Very well.” I sighed melodramatically and tried not to wince as my bare feet touched the stone floor. “I shall take my inferior blood elsewhere!”

Mi tesora launched a pillow at me as I hunted for my shirt, but I dodged, and it landed in Alistair’s arms. With another chuckle I made my escape with my shirt and shut the door behind me.

I stood for a moment with my back against it, smiling as I listened to the muffled sounds of three ruthless killers settling back into their pile: a little pack of wolves after a tiring day of hunting, their teeth and claws hidden until morning.

[1] Sonricita: “little smile”

“You cannot imagine the worst, my friend,” I said as I strode into the room.

“I was captured by the Dalish and held prisoner for nearly a year.”

Vir Lath Sa'Vunin B-Side Track Six

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