DA LOLZ - True Story

[1smut_princess]

Reason #459002 why PoT is great.
So my husband is in the military, and called me today when he was on break. The followin' conversation went like this:

Hub: "So whatcha doin' honey?"
Me: "Just some PoT."
Hub: "....."
Hub: "....Baby... this is a work phone. Try and like.. not say things like that... for my sanity's sake. I mean, I'm okay with it if that's what you're doing, just... don't drive anywhere! And please tell me you're at a friends house or somethin'?"
Me: "Huh?"
Hub: "Oh man, how much did you do?"
Me: "Um... I think we... may not be on the same page honey."
Hub: "What?"
Me: "I'm on People of Thedas.. you know. That place. PoT."
Hub: "Oh dear god don't scare the piss outta me like that!"

Comments

[twist_shimmy]

Oh no I am SO sorry. D:

[zevgirl]

No! It was really funny. I told her it was about cooking stuff in pots for a party. :)

[1smut_princess]

:flail: And she bought it? :giggles:

[twist_shimmy]

A couple of years from now she's going to be sitting in a D.A.R.E. class and go ".....waaaaaaait a minute!"

[zevgirl]

Just like her mom.

[1smut_princess]

Eh it's better than my step-dad tellin' me that what he was smokin' was just 'funny stuff' and 'nothin' to worry 'bout'. And that the bong was a pencil holder. For an accountant he was pretty laid back.... Needless to say.

It wasn't until years later that I realized why I would always get sleepy when crawlin' into bed. My sheets had been used to dry his 'funny stuff' out over screens.... Even today, when I smell lavender and basil together I still get sleepy. MmmGainesville Green makes me think of tiny little houses, with cozy four layers of mattresses (I am so the Princess and the Pea) with basil/lavender/weed smellin' sheets.

Y'know? That might explain some things....

[twist_shimmy]

My mom was very open about it. "Don't get near me when I'm smoking this, honey. It's a drug and it's bad for you."

"Then why are you smoking it?"

"Because I don't have an adult to tell me better."

Made perfect sense at the time.

[1smut_princess]

Heh. Nah, I was a natural insomniac so I think my parents did it partially on purpose to help me sleep as a last ditch effort. I would go days without sleep. Y'know how infants are supposed to sleep 16-20hrs a day when they're newborn? Yeah, no. My pediatrician was weirded out by the fact that I only slept three or four hours a day when I was a newborn apparently, but said it must just be how I was. And by the time I was four, my mom was at her wits end. So - weed scented sheets! Can't smoke it, eat or anythin', but the smell of it will still put me out like a light.

Hmm... now if only it was easily obtainable, maybe my adult insomnia could be cured.

[twist_shimmy]

I've given up trying to fix my insomnia. XD

[1smut_princess]

I just write it into submission....

[twist_shimmy]

I usually photoshop, mod, or game. Especially now that the mod I was working on got eaten with my save files. Hmph.

[1smut_princess]

I've told myself I can't install the Ultimate COllection until after I've written Murder 14 and 15.... And damn, GZ, he keeps distractin' me and now I'm on Guild-ed 10!

[twist_shimmy]

Right now I'm working on Faolan's oneshots, Tesni's series (with Lenna and Caerwyn), editing for Lenna and Estara, and now a Sekrit New Aeducan fic. Chances of any of these being done by the time DA2 arrives?

Zero.

@_@

[1smut_princess]

Yes, and with your Luke Skywalker hand out of comish, it will take awhile no doubt. BTW how is your mitten?

[twist_shimmy]

I managed to keep it from blistering too badly, so now that the burns aren't developing anymore I can just cover it with gauze and use it almost normally. As long as nothing touches it, it doesn't hurt. And I get to look like a mummy!

Doing dishes and showering has been sodding interesting, though.

(Also, I have a word dictation program, so now that I reinstalled it, writing is still gtg.)

[1smut_princess]

Yaay. Also, have you tried swipin' honey on it? When I was a chef that's what we did, insteada usin' unguents and salvs etc. Petrolium based products make it hard for the burns to breathe, and if you got access to some raw honey (nonpasturized basically, but 'normal' honey works too, just not as well) it's a pretty strong antibacterial and I tell ya what - if I hadn't been usin' that I'd still have the scars all over my arms. Now y'can't tell anymore that I used to have a set of tiger stripes that went up to my shoulders, or that I had burns on my neck and stomach. Let's not even mention that time my hand got into the fryer...

[twist_shimmy]

I've been sticking to aloe since it lets the wound breathe but keeps it from peeling. If it looks like it's gonna get infected like the last burn did I'll break out the honey. Thanks for the advice!

(Basically my hands don't feel heat, and sometimes I forget basic life lessons like "DON'T TAKE THE PAN OUT OF THE OVEN WITH YOUR BARE HANDS, DUMBASS. Gotta love nerve damage.)

[1smut_princess]

Ooohhhh ouch. I feel ya there. I used to be left handed... and I used to play multiple instruments. Nerve damage ftl.

[twist_shimmy]

I used to be right-handed. Now I'm ambidextrous in the sense that I can use both of them poorly. :D Thank the Creators for keyboards.

[sleepyowlet]

Tea-Tree oil. Hurts like the dickens when you put it on first, but burns heal in three days tops without scarring. Great stuff. I use that always - and I used to work in a restaurant kitchen that featured a deep-fryer with hicups. Nuff said.

[twist_shimmy]

Tea tree oil is amazing. I use it diluted for outer ear infections and cat scratches.

Never thought to put it on burns, though. Thanks! <3

[1smut_princess]

I used to work in a kitchen with all men and they were all of the mind that a woman should only be in a kitchen at home, and didn't belong in a "real" restaurant. Hence the whole gettin' pushed whilst fiddlin' with the fryer. Hadta learn to act like my balls were bigger than theirs.... which resulted in me learnin' how to throw a chef's knife and have it land usually within two inches of their hand. :was scary dragon lady in the kitchen after the fryer incident:
Ugh I schnortle every time I hear some girl go "OH but they made me work four twelve hour shifts and I get paid three dollars less than the other guys per hour! :whine:"
S'like "Bitchez, please. I didn't get paid for more than 30-41 of the 80-100 hours I generally worked, and I got paid less than half than most of the dudes. Pft." (and yeah, I know that isn't legal, but that's how it was 10yrs ago when I got in. Y'want a job in the kitchen and y'got tits? Oh you get pennies and you work like a slave. Who cares if y'have a life?)
The tea-tree oil trick always made me too miserable to work through the burns, so I always stick to honey...

[sleepyowlet]

Well, it was my mother's restaurant and it was only her and me cooking. Mediterranian stuff. But we didn't offer much Italian food, because everybody did that.
Well, I rather spent half a minute yodeling my lungs out, because it meant no pain afterwards and no scars. I'm quite attached to my face, and I don't want to think about what it would look like without tea tree oil.
As for the attitude of male cooks; too true. And utter B.S. Many women work just as hard as any man and whine less (just watch men when they're sick. Most of them are such babies). But that's the same in any male-dominated field.

[1smut_princess]

My hand was so bad they hadta skin graft me, but the raw honey did the same. Then again I naturally have skin that heals well in the first off. I should be covered in scars head to toe, but for few I have are less than three years old. Mainly a couple tiny cat scratches...
I did Italian, French (and if I smell bouillabaisse or pasta with too much olive oil, I get sick to my stomach to this day), "American", pan-Asian and such... I wish I'd worked in a family kitchen, so I wouldn'ta hadta deal with such douchewaffles. But I did wind up puttin' the fear of god in alla them eventually. In-A-Hurry-Rhion-With-Boiling-Pots or Sharp Knives = Get the fuck outta her way or she will stab/pour on you.
...Interestingly I was never fired. I quit.

[sleepyowlet]

Teheh, the worst that happened to me in the kitchen was that my favourite knife decided to ... bite me. It just fell on my right hand (I missed the magnet) and ... well, the people I encountered on my way to the doctor got very pale. Now I have a pretty ugly scar on the back of my hand - I guess hand-modelling is no longer a career option for me :D
Ah yes, olive oil. I still have a can of the good stuff (organic, from Crete)... but the best was from Syria, made from olives that grew on trees at least a thousand years old. Flavourful, nutty and not the least bit bitter. I loved it. Some lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes and sweet pepper, add some Greek or Bulgarian sheep-cheese and that oil - and you're in heaven. I swear.
Oh fig. Now I have a craving.