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So I wrote this for the Seven Deadly Sins Challenge over on the Morrigan LJ community, but I thought I'd toss a link up here too.

Title: Fait Accompli
Characters: Morrigan, Alistair, m!Amell
Rating: M (Definitely NSFW due to smut.)
Word Count: 7K
Warnings: There's a bit of violence and a whole lot of smut, but nothing particularly crazy.
Summary: When the Warden refuses to do the dark ritual, Morrigan attempts to convince another to take his place...

Fait Accompli

Link goes to ff.net. This story is part of a larger collection of shorts called Practical Romance, but the stories are each written as oneshots and and should each be able to stand alone. Feedback is greatly appreciated. What you liked/didn't like, thought worked/didn't work is especially helpful.

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Dear Morrigan,

I never knew you cared. I suspected, thanks to the snarky comments. But I hadn't known. If I had, I would have at least considered stripping for you. In a very dark room. Without lights. While blushing.

I'd give up on the hope that my goofy habits won't rub off on the OGB. Theirins are made of goofy habits. It's a dominant genetic trait that there is no escape from (other than being born a female. I think that Anora's been making offers to the Maker to give her only daughters.). If you bear a son, he will be just like me, Cailan, and Maric. I'm sorry. It's the way things are. And if you bare a daughter, surely you need a strong father figure for her, right? Otherwise, she's sure to act out in her teenaged years, seeking from boys the love she never got from her father.

Please, please, consider my offer. The child needs me. Marcus doesn't. Anora doesn't. To be honest, the two of them kind of scare me. And I love you! You're the only woman I've ever been with, the only woman I want to be with. I don't know that I can stand transferring my affection to Anora now, as will invariably happen if I have sex with her, or even just see her boobs. If this happens, I will be conflicted, and I can't stand that!

The ring is very pretty though. Thank you.

I'm not sure why I would tell Marcus of our glorious night of passion. That said, I'm fairly sure that Leliana knows, as she and Zevran have been hanging around camp all day pointing at me and laughing. Leliana's kind of mean, now that I think of it...

Your one true love,

Alistair

Dear Alistair,

You are truly hopeless. How am I supposed to gloat about my cleverness if he does not know that we have thwarted his plans? This is the whole point of taking my revenge, you fool!

I am afraid that you are probably right about the genetic nature of Theirin goofy habits, but if this is so then 'tis your nature or perhaps just fate to be conflicted as well. Did you not listen to the songs about your royal father that Leliana would sing to us around the campfire? Marrying one woman while pining for another is a Theirin family tradition. 'Tis an inevitability, really.

Although I must say that you do have a point about our possible daughter running off with the first man that makes eyes at her due to inevitable daddy issues from an absentee father. It would be most irritating to do all of the work of raising this child only to have her run off at the first opportunity. Come to think of it, it will be most irritating raising this child anyway as I am hardly the type to change fouled diapers and clean spit up milk.

Hmm... perhaps I will allow you catch up with us after all. I must consider this carefully.

Morrigan

Dear Morrigan,

Revenge? What is the meaning of this word? I think I've heard it before, but may be incapable of fully understanding the concept.

I did listen to Leliana's songs. But unfortunately, my templar training will make me feel very guilty over marrying one woman while lusting after another. I would prefer to avoid that guilt by marrying the one I lust over. (Although, Anora does have some gorgeous boobs. No, must not think of the boobies, or I will no longer have will power.) Plus, that way, I could do what I really want and just let Marcus become king. Yes, I know that mages aren't supposed to be king, but it would simplify things in so many ways. Not the least of which is that I'll finally get to follow you around like a puppy dog, while sleeping with you cuddled up in my arms. Don't tell me that you don't want to sleep curled up in my arms. I'm sure you do, because despite your harsh exterior, I truly believe that you are warm and gooey deep down inside. You just need a kind man to love you for who you are, even if who you are is a heartless, bitchy shrew.

Think of our daughter, if you're actually debating whether to stay with me. She needs a good, solid, father figure. One who wouldn't mind holding her and rocking her to sleep, even if she did spit up on him. I'm that kind of father, Morrigan. You know you need me.

Alistair

Dear Alistair,

I am afraid that I must deny your request. For one thing, my plan for revenge is not truly complete if the Warden gets to marry Anora (or at least continue his love affair). No, he must watch his best friend marry his lover, and suffer for the indignities he put me through by turning me down for the ritual. For another, what sort of evil forest witch would I be if did not do my part to make the three of you as miserable as possible?

But do not fret, for I am quite fickle! Once you are married and doing your best to forget our night of revenge and the child you sired, I will use the ring to start haunting your dreams. I may even possibly allow you to follow us through the mirror, once our spawn reaches the terrible twos and is completely aggravating to have around. And then, maybe, quite possibly I will allow a cuddle or two as I hurl insults and barbs in your direction and tell you what a fool you are.

Morrigan

Dear Morrigan,

Yeah, whatever with your revenge. I just saw Anora naked. Suddenly, I'm pretty psyched about this arranged marriage thing. (Although, awww, Marcus and Anora are so cute together. When they held hands just prior to our wedding, I felt my heart melt just a little. But, you know, she's hot. And he saved Loghain. So, I think that I'm OK with the whole hooking up with Anora, and screwing over Marcus thing now.)

Damn it, I'd been wondering why you left the ring. Oh well. It fits my finger so well that I can't see taking it off. (Although Anora has been asking some kind of embarrassing questions about it. And you. How does she know about us? Oh, yeah, it might have had something to do with how, after she complimented me on my performance, I broke down sobbing and confessed the whole OGB thing. Hopefully that wasn't a supposed to be a secret...)

And, hey, I'm used to the barbs and insults, so as long as I get a cuddle or two out of it, I think I'm OK. Actually I sort of like the insults. I miss them. In its own way, it would be a nice change from Anora staring out the window and looking sad a lot.

Alistair

Dear Alistair,

Oh yes, now that you mention it, Anora did send me a lovely thank you note for training you how to properly bed a woman. We also had a nice chat about your abs and dietary restrictions on your cheese consumption as not to spoil them.

Your wife and I have also come to an arrangement. Now that you have spent enough time with your wife to become properly conflicted, I can now allow you to come and spend time with your son who, incidentally, is not named, nor will never be named "Duncan."

Enclosed are a set of cryptic clues to follow to find my whereabouts. I hope they are not too tricky for you to decipher and do not strain your intellect overmuch. When you have reached the creepy looking mirror, you will know you are in the right place.

Morrigan

P.S. You do not need to worry about packing too many shirts, as most likely I will not be allowing you to wear many of them anyway.

P.P.S Also, do not tell Marcus of this plan as he would try to ruin everything.

Dear Morrigan,

I didn't know that you and Anora were communicating. And about me? Awwww...you do love me! I always knew it!

But, but, but...cheese. How can you take the cheese from me? (I no longer love either of you. I think instead that I will fall in love with Ser Cauthrien. No reason, really, but I figure, why not?)

Awww...I have a son? I hope that you know that he will always be called "Duncan" in my mind, no matter what you choose to call him. I certainly intend to call him "Duncan", no matter what hairbrained name you've given little Duncan. I bet he's cute. Is he cute? Does he like cheese? Does he talk all the time, too? I can't wait to meet him!

Anyway, coming right now, or at least as soon as I can figure out the map! Oh, I just got it. I was holding it upside down. Ooops. No wonder the writing looked all funny.

So on my way, my...I'm not sure. Love? Tormentor? Mother of my child?

Alistair

P.S: I had to leave Marcus some kind of note. Otherwise he'd get all worried about why I was missing. But I made it super cryptic, so I doubt that he'll figure it out.

P.P.S: Damn it. I also left your map behind in my room. Oh well, surely Marcus won't find it, right? Right?

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