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peopleofthedas2010-11-29 02:31 pm
Questions for Riordan
Rating: None
Description: Humorous (or so I hope)
“Is an archdemon similar to other animals?” I asked Riordan.
Riordan stopped walking and looked at me. “What? I suppose so. It's a spirit of an old god in the body of a dragon.”
“So it's a big flying lizard? It eats? Likes to sun itself? Poops? How big is an archdemon turd?” I was on a roll. Riordan was a senior Warden, he would certainly know this stuff.
“They eat people, cattle... pretty much anything unblighted. Yes, their turds are enormous. There is one Grey Warden legend from Garahel's time about the archdemon strategically vacating his bowels on a division of infantry with devastating results. Those who weren't buried and suffocated were exposed to toxic levels of blighted crap.”
I tried not to giggle but I simply couldn't hold it back. “Eliminating the enemy, so to speak.”
I walked on musing. If the archdemon is simply a big lizard couldn't we just kill it by poisoning it? Or perhaps blowing it up? What possible use is there in stabbing at it at close range? “Riordan?” I was full of questions now.
“Hmmm?” Riordan looked at me warily. He had been around me enough now to know how these Q&A sessions usually went.
“If the archdemon's essence, whatever the hell that is, ends up in the Grey Warden who kills it, what happens if it dies from being blown up? Or being poisoned?” I paused a moment. “Who gets the credit for the kill? The person who made the bomb or the one that lit it?”
“Merde! I don't know.”
“I mean, what if I give the archdemon a wound and it festers over the next two weeks and then it dies. Am I the one that killed it and I get asploded by archdemon essence? Does its essence travel hundreds of miles to seek out the Grey Warden that nicked it? Or does it seek out the bacteria that caused the infection?”
Riordan grumbled something I couldn't hear, then, “Lucy, I don't know. This is not covered in the records.”
I shook my head. “You guys are either not very curious or you're lousy record-keepers. I give you credit for figuring out drinking the blood was a good idea but seriously, did your intellectual curiosity abandon you after that moment?”
Riordan started sputtering in French, I mean Orlesian, and gesticulating wildly. “You don't experiment on an archdemon, you kill it!”
“Avernus,” I said, “now there's a guy with a proper respect for experimentation and intellectual inquiry. Sadly, a bit new to the idea of ethics though.”
There were even more questions brewing in my mind, but our senses started buzzing. Darkspawn incoming! I watched as they drew closer and wondered why they had such badly aligned teeth. Ah well, more questions for Riordan.
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"...now there's a guy with a proper respect for experimentation and intellectual inquiry. Sadly, a bit new to the idea of ethics though." I laughed out loud right there. Very funny, Zute. :D
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Heh, there's nothing like a good scat joke.
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Lucy makes some very reasonable points (and I need to get back to finishing the story. So much on my to-do list!)
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