So Blind in the Sun: Epilogue

[sagacious_rage]

Title: Epilogue and Fic Mix
Rating: This chapter: G
Pairing F!Hawke/Sebastian
Warnings: none in this chapter
Word Count: 141
Chapter Summary: The aftermath
Story Summary: The Chantry is in ruins, the Gallows has been annulled, and Laica Hawke has been named Viscountess of Kirkwall and is betrothed to Prince Sebastian Vael. But happily-ever-after is for fairy tales.
Author's Note: This sequel to the Let Love Go series was written for the Bioware Bang on LiveJournal, and will be updated Tuesdays and Thursdays. The amazing cover art was provided by the incredibly talented Ashmouth. This fic also had a lot of very, very helpful betas. In no particular order: xogs, zuelie, jessicajones, and neaira





Epilogue
For You are the fire at the heart of the world
And comfort is only Yours to give.
-Transfigurations 12:6

There was one thing she never told anybody. Not her confessor, not her friends, not even Sebastian.

As she was drifting off to sleep in Cullen’s arms, she made a promise to herself. One she never voiced aloud. And that promise was: if he was still there when she awoke, she would not go to Starkhaven.

But he left while she still slept. And so she left the city without saying goodbye.

As her entourage filed out the city gates, headed for Vimmarks Pass, she allowed herself to look back, just once. A solitary figure stood on the wall, with broad shoulders and close-cut hair. She looked at him for one long moment, before turning to face the road ahead.


~oOo~

A/N: Ok. Before you get really really mad at me: Laica's story is not over. Just this part of it. I have the next section plotted out, but I don't want to get to working on it until I finish "Restoration". As a consolation: here is a fic mix I made for it. Because hey, free music! That's good, right?

(Please don't hurt me)



At Arm's Length, a ficmix to So Blind in the Sun


Track 1: Oh Comely by Neutral Milk Hotel

Know all your enemies.

We know who our enemies are.

”Stand up,” she said softly. “I want you to look at me.”

Track 2: Another Radio Song by Okkervil River

Every spirit brushing past me
Brushing past them in the ether
Scream all this is window dressing
All you are is flimsy curtains
Watch you flame up with a word from us
And won’t know that you’re Burning!

Laica nodded and began to gather her will. She frowned as the Veil felt tattered and loose, energy rushing at her when it should have been harder to grasp. See how I help you, the voice beckoned. I can help you even more, if you will let me.

Track 3: He Moved Through the Fair by The Chieftains with Sinead O'Connor

He went away from me
and this he did say
"It will not be long, Love,
till our wedding day"

For the first time since the battle he felt like he was looking at Laica Hawke, the woman he had followed loyally, respected outspokenly and loved quietly for the better part of a decade. He stepped closer and grasped her forearms. "There is nothing in this world that would make me leave your side if it were not absolutely necessary. You know that. And the moment it is no longer absolutely necessary, I will return."

Track 4: Waltz No. 2 (XO) by Elliott Smith

She appears composed
So she is, I suppose
Who can really tell?
She shows no emotion at all
Stares into space like a dead china doll

"I would rather be Tranquil than…" her lip trembled and she looked away.

Track 5: Crane Your Neck by Lady Lamb the Beekeeper

Cause if you're dreaming about dying, then you're not really living darling
You've gotta be starving, you've gotta be starving for it
And if you're crying by the moon, in the sun you better lift up that chin

She pushed herself away from her desk in a bid to try to get more air.

Track 6: Suburban War by Arcade Fire

All my old friends they don’t know me now
All my old friends are staring through me now

Sebastian's temper began to rise. "Are you honestly questioning the White Divine's motives?"

"You don't get to be the Grand Inquisitor by asking questions politely!" Varric exclaimed in exasperation. "For the love of Light, Sebastian, dig your head out of the sand and think about this!"

Track 7: An Animal in Your Care by Wolf Parade

I fell for crime I fell for beauty 
I fell for you because you're the one that cared 

Cullen couldn't help but laugh softly. "Perhaps some very mean bandits."

Laica wrinkled her brow. "This is serious, you know. If I don't get some exercise soon I'm going to go mad." She paused in her restless fidgeting. "Would you be willing to spar with me?"

Track 8: L.E.S. Artistes by Santigold

I can say I hope it will be worth what I give up
If I could stand up mean for the things that I believe

Not bad for a hedge witch, no matter how short-lived it was. She felt a pang as she looked at her father's portrait on the wall. "Sorry I couldn't do any better," she whispered. "They just… outmaneuvered me." Sweeping her cloak over her shoulders and allowing herself one last glance around the room, she slipped out.

Track 9: Teardrop by Jose Gonzalez

Teardrop on the fire
Feathers on my breath

You're stumbling into war
Stumbling into war

There was a dull ache in his chest as the images of her torment at the hands of the templars rose, unbidden, to his mind. "My love. I know this prospect causes you anguish. But if there is to be war it is because they choose to bring it to us, not because you choose to continue to exist."

Track 10: Take Your Mediciner by Cloud Cult

You can take it in stride
Or you can take it right between the eyes
Suck up, suck up
And take your medicine
It's a good day, it's a good day
To face the hard things

Cullen stared that the clouds, as memories of the Tower swirled. Greagoir's stony expression as he handed him the greatsword on their way to the Harrowing Chamber. Amell standing in front of the lyrium font with Irving. The cold, dead feeling in his heart, knowing what he was expected to do, should it become necessary. "Yes. They wish us to deliver her to the Grand Inquisitor."

Track 11: '81 by Joanna Newsom

The unending amends you made
Are enough for one life, be done
I believe in innocence, little darling, start again
I believe in everyone

I believe, regardless, I believe in everyone 

She clasped her hands in front of her, a mixture of relief and dread swirling in her heart. "But what will become of you? You can't just ignore orders."

Track 12: Red is the Rose by The Ennis Sisters, et al

Red is the rose that in yonder garden grows
Fair is the lily of the valley
Clear is the water that flows from the Boyne
But my love is fairer than any.

"That's right," Sebastian grinned. "I'm going to marry Laica."

"Yep," Varric cracked a smile back. "In Justinian." 

Track 13: The Sword and the Pen by Regina Spektor

So what if nothing is safe?
So what if no one is saved,
No matter how sweet,
No matter how brave,
But if each to his own lonely grave?

He knew it was wrong, desperate and crazy but she melted against him, her lips soft and yielding and he soon was far past the point of caring about the difference between what he was supposed to do and what he wanted to do and pulled her into his lap.

Track 14: The Nothing Part Two by Lady Lamb the Beekeeper

Take me south
Take me home
Hold your own
And claim me

There was another soft tap, more hesitant, and she bit her lip, staring at the door. "Just the once," she murmured to herself. Taking a deep breath, she padded quickly to the door and opened it.

Track 15: The Suburbs (continued) by Arcade Fire

If I could have it back
All the time that we wasted
I'd only waste it again
If I could have it back
You know I would love to waste it again

She looked at him for one long moment, before turning to face the road ahead.

And, if you'd like to download the entire mix in one go, here's the zip: At Arm's Length